“Where’s my breakfast?” inquired the other, hotly. “Why ain’t the kitchen-fire alight? Wot do you think you’re doing of?”
“I’m not doing anything,” said his wife, with an aggrieved air. “I’m on strike.”
Mr. Porter reeled against the door-post. “Wot!” he stammered. “On strike? Nonsense! You can’t be.”
“O, yes, I can,” retorted Mrs. Porter, closing one eye and ministering to it hastily with the corner of her apron. “Not ’aving no Bert Robinson to do it for me, I made a little speech all to myself, and here I am.”
She dropped her apron, replaced the cigarette, and, with her hands on her plump knees, eyes him steadily.
“But—but this ain’t a factory,” objected the dismayed man; “and, besides —I won’t ’ave it!”
Mrs. Porter laughed—a fat, comfortable laugh, but with a touch of hardness in it.
“All right, mate,” she said, comfortably. “What are you out on strike for?”
“Shorter hours and more money,” said Mr. Porter, glaring at her.
His wife nodded. “So am I,” she said. “I wonder who gets it first?”
She smiled agreeably at the bewildered Mr. Porter, and, extracting a paper packet of cigarettes from her pocket, lit a fresh one at the stub of the first.
“That’s the worst of a woman,” said her husband, avoiding her eye and addressing a sanitary dustbin of severe aspect; “they do things without thinking first. That’s why men are superior; before they do a thing they look at it all round, and upside down, and—and—make sure it can be done. Now, you get up in a temper this morning, and the first thing you do—not even waiting to get my breakfast ready first—is to go on strike. If you’d thought for two minutes you’d see as ’ow it’s impossible for you to go on strike for more than a couple of hours or so.”
“Why?” inquired Mrs. Porter.
“Kids,” replied her husband, triumphantly. “They’ll be coming ’ome from school soon, won’t they? And they’ll be wanting their dinner, won’t they?”
“That’s all right,” murmured the other, vaguely.
“After which, when night comes,” pursued Mr. Porter, “they’ll ’ave to be put to bed. In the morning they’ll ’ave to be got up and washed and dressed and given their breakfast and sent off to school. Then there’s shopping wot must be done, and beds wot must be made.”
“I’ll make ours,” said his wife, decidedly. “For my own sake.”
“And wot about the others?” inquired Mr. Porter.
“The others’ll be made by the same party as washes the children, and cooks their dinner for ’em, and puts ’em to bed, and cleans the ’ouse,” was the reply.
“I’m not going to have your mother ’ere,” exclaimed Mr. Porter, with sudden heat. “Mind that!”
“I don’t want her,” said Mrs. Porter. “It’s a job for a strong, healthy man, not a pore old thing with swelled legs and short in the breath.”