They book ’im through to Blighty and ’e drop a line from ’ome,
  Comparin’ clay in Flanders with the proper British loam;
  “An’ w’en you gets yer seven days, you come along an’ see
  The roses an’ the lavender, the lavender, the lavender ... 
      You oughter see the lavender!” says ’e.

  My mate ’e ’ad a sister, w’ich I didn’t even guess
  Till I was at the wicker-gate an’ see ’er cotton dress;
  ‘Er face was sweet as summer-time an’ pretty as a tune;
  ‘Er eyes was like the lavender, the blue bewitchin’ lavender,
      As lovely as the lavender in June.

  She bid me welcome kindly, an’ as quiet as you please,
  An’ fust we talk o’ battlefields an’ then we talk o’ bees;
  But, though the ‘olly’ocks was aht an’ all the roses red,
  I only see the lavender, the patch o’ purple lavender;
      “I’m pleased you likes the lavender,” she said.

  I’m tickled by a pansy, wot’s called an ’Appy Thought;
  I’m gone on yaller “Glories” of the proper smelly sort;
  An’ once I ’eld gerani-ums was gayer than the rest,
  But now I likes the lavender, a little sprig o’ lavender,
      I likes a bit o’ lavender the best.

* * * * *

AN INFANT PRODIGY.

“Sir Frederick Smith, the Attorney-General, is 5, but does not look it for he keeps a full thatch and a fresh complexion, and has features so softly contoured that as a baby he must have been the pride of the family.”—­Yorkshire Evening Post.

* * * * *

ASIA IN EUROPE.

    “Serbia has been crushed, and, with the exception of Salonika
    and the regions temporarily held by the British in Palestine
    and Mesopotamia, Germany holds command of Middle Europe.

    “That becomes quite obvious when one looks at the map.”

    Mr. ROBERT BLATCHFORD in “The Sunday Chronicle."

* * * * *

[Illustration:  BETRAYED.

THE PANDER.  “COME ON; COME AND BE KISSED BY HIM.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, December 3rd.—­No further publicity is to be given to Lord LANSDOWNE’S letter if the Government can help it.  But the author is not to be prosecuted and the rumour that Lansdowne House has been raided by the police and its noble owner’s type writer confiscated lacks confirmation.

[Illustration:  A STORY LACKING CONFIRMATION.]

A long and complicated answer by Mr. CLYNES, describing and defending the new sugar-cards, was not altogether satisfying.  Sir F. BANBURY’S inquiry, “Does the hon. gentleman think that anybody will get any sugar after this?” was prompted, no doubt, by anxiety for the future of his famous cakes; but it expressed the general doubt.

Lord ROBERT CECIL, who has hitherto stoutly denied that the Allies have given ex-KING CONSTANTINE a retiring allowance, admitted that the Greek Government might make him some payment, and that the Allies furnished Greece with money.  In other words, Greece has given TINO a penny to play in the next street, and the Allies have lent her the penny.