CHARIVARIA.

A “Company for Oversea Enterprises” has been formed in Hamburg.  It has no connection with the German High Sea Fleet.

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A guinea a dozen is being offered for rabbits in the Isle of Wight.  Most of them, however, are holding back for a War bonus.

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A Newcastle man who has been missing for eleven months has just turned up at his home.  He excused himself on the grounds that the tea queue was rather a long one.

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There are reports current of an impending strike of brewery workers in the North.  Several employees have threatened to “Down Beer.”

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Confirmation is still awaited of the rumour that several food ships have recently torpedoed themselves rather than fall into the hands of the profiteers.

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The statement that Viscount Northcliffe has refused the post of Minister of Health is without foundation.  It is no secret, however, that he would decline the position even if he should offer it to himself.

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Double-headed matches are impracticable, according to the Tobacco and Matches Control Board.  The sorts with detachable heads, however, will continue to be manufactured.

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A Norfolk fisherman with twenty-six children has been fined five shillings for neglecting seven of them.  His offence is thought to have been due to oversight.

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According to the Lord Mayor of Dublin there is plenty of food in Ireland.  In the best Sinn Fein circles it is thought that this condition of things points to an attempt on the part of the Government to bring discredit on the sacrificial devotion of the Separatists.

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So realistic has the stage become of late that in The Boy at the Adelphi, Mr. W.H.  Berry (we give the rumour for what it is worth) sits down to a meal of wood cutlets.

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In order that no confusion may be caused among guests the Government has been requested to have a “take over” whistle blown in the corridors before they commandeer the next hotel.

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It seems that TROTZKY is to have no nonsense.  He has even threatened to make lynching illegal.

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The Neue Freie Presse describes Lenin as the revolutionary with kings at his feet.  He also seems to have several knaves up his sleeve.

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A Brixton lady has left the sum of four hundred pounds to her dog.  It would be interesting to hear the family solicitor asking him whether he would take it in War Bonds or bones.

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The Timber Commission reports a grave shortage of birch, and a number of earnest ushers are asking, “What is the use of the censorship?”

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It is now declared that the high explosive found on Countess MARKIEVICZ’S “green scouts” was not intended for destructive purposes.  Mr. De Valera, M.P., was merely going to eat it.