* * * * *

THE GATHERER

  A snapper up of unconsidered trifles. 
       SHAKSPEARE.

* * * * *

A German having been shown Mount Edgcumbe, and magnificently entertained with sea-fish, exclaimed—­“For my part, I like flat countries, and fresh-water fish.”

* * * * *

POETICAL SCRAP.

Inscription over a chimney-sweeper’s door, at the entrance to Hastings, from the London Road:—­

  W. Freelove liveth here,
  Is willing to serve both far and near: 
  He’ll sweep your chimneys cheap and clean,
  And hopes your custom to obtain;
  And, if your chimney should catch fire,
  He’ll put it out at your desire.

* * * * *

The following article appeared, some years since, in a Valenciennes journal:—­Six merchants crossing the Coast of Guinea, with seventy-five large monkeys, were attacked by upwards of a hundred negroes.  Being at a loss how to defend themselves against such odds, one of the merchants proposed arming the prisoners:  accordingly, swords, poniards, and pistols, were distributed amongst them, and, by imitating their masters, these grotesque auxiliaries succeeded in putting their aggressors to flight.

W.G.C.

* * * * *

SWIFT’S EPIGRAM,

On the dispute which occurred betwixt Bononcini and Handel.

  Bononcini swears that Handel
  Cannot to him hold a candle;
  And Handel swears that Bononcini,
  Compared to him is a mere ninny. 
  ’Tis strange there should such difference be
  ’Twixt tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee!

* * * * *

LORD CHESTERFIELD.

“At what time does a lady lose all susceptibility of the tender passion?” said his lordship to the Duchess of C——­, then close upon a century of years.[4] The reply was brisk and animated—­“Your lordship must apply to some one older than me, for I am incapable of answering the question.”

    [4] Ninety.

* * * * *

BOW-STREET WIT.

Over the fire-place at the public office, Bow-street is a likeness of the celebrated Sir John Fielding Knight, who was at the head of this establishment after losing his sight.  A gentleman, a few days ago, observed that Fielding was a great encourager of thieving.  “How so?” asked his friend.  “Why don’t you know he was a dark-knight.”

P.T.W.

* * * * *

The following epitaph is on the tomb of David Birkenhead, in Davenham churchyard, Cheshire: