* * * * *

[Illustration:  Young Sub (a very earnest pilgrim). “PLEASE SEND A LARGE BUNCH OF ROSES TO THE ADDRESS ON THAT CARD AND CHARGE IT TO ME.”

Florist. “YES, SIR—­AND YOUR NAME?”

Sub. “OH, NEVER MIND MY NAME—­SHE’LL UNDERSTAND.”]

* * * * *

    “Any owner whose dog shows signs of illness should be chained up
    securely.”—­Bradford Daily Argus.

And every other Argus will say the same.