Illube dot with thy beabs the biddight burk,
   Whed through the gloob the Huddish biscreadts
  Cobe sdeakigg, bedt od their idhubad work
   Of bobbigg slubberigg dod-cobbatadts.

  Or if thy labbedt gleabs thou bayst dot blidd,
   Thed bay they aid our airbed add our guds;
  Its bark bay every barkigg bissile fidd,
   Bay dought be dode abiss, dor dode be duds.

  So bayst thou baffle burderous WILLIAB’S plad,
   Add all attebts of that bad badbad bad.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  PRIVILEGED DISLOYALTY.

FIRST TRAITOR.  “HOW ARE WE TO PUSH OUR PROPAGANDA PAST THE CENSOR?”

SECOND TRAITOR.  “NOTHING EASIER.  GET THE RIGHT KIND OF QUESTIONS ASKED
IN PARLIAMENT; THERE’S NOBODY TO STOP THEM FROM BEING PUBLISHED.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, November 5th.—­By way of celebrating Guy Fawkes Day the Government announced their intention of compensating, up to a limit of five hundred pounds, any householder whose property has been damaged in air-raids.  How soon he will cage his “monkey” will depend upon the Treasury, which is morbidly anxious lest in its transactions bis dat qui cito dat should be literally illustrated.

[Illustration:  “Forgetting the claims of Glasgow.”  MR. WATT.]

The official price of potatoes is still unsettled.  According to his own statement the FOOD CONTROLLER is only waiting for the decision of the War Cabinet.  “On the contrary,” said Mr. LAW, “the Cabinet is only waiting for Lord RHONDDA.”  It seems to be another case of the Earl of CHATHAM and Sir RICHAUD STRACHAN; and in the meantime the potatoes are rotting.

Provided that no scarcity of gas for other purposes is caused the Government see no objection to its use for the propulsion of motor-cars.  On receiving this information Mr. PEMBERTON BILLING at once ordered a Zeppelin attachment to his famous torpedo-shaped car.  No other gas-consumer will suffer, as he is prepared to keep the apparatus inflated from his own retorts.

By the scheme of the Boundary Commissioners, the roll of the Commons, already a hundred per cent. too big for its accommodation, is to be increased by some thirty Members.  Various suggestions for enabling the new-comers to assist at debates have been proposed.  “Dug-outs” under the existing benches, whence they could poke out their heads between the legs of other Members, and “painters’ cradles” depending from the ceiling, or the galleries, are among the most popular.

In the circumstances it is not surprising that the HOME SECRETARY strenuously resisted the proposal of the London representatives to give another couple of Members to “the hub of the universe,” as Mr. WATT, momentarily forgetting the claims of Glasgow, handsomely called it.  Among a number of minor concessions, Mr. THEODORE TAYLOR’S plea that Batley should be associated with Morley “because they have had many a tussle at cricket” could not be resisted.