CHARIVARIA.

People are asking, “Can there be a hidden brain in the Foreign Office?”

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A German posing as a Swiss, and stated by the police to be “a spy and a dangerous character,” has been sentenced to six months’ imprisonment.  The matter will be further investigated pending his escape.

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Three men were charged at Old Street last week with attempting the “pot of tea” trick.  The trick apparently consists in finding a man with a pot of tea and giving him a sovereign to go round the corner and buy a ham sandwich, the thief meanwhile offering to hold the pot of tea.  When the owner returns the tea has, of course, vanished.

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The increased consumption of bread, says Sir Arthur Yapp, is due to the 9d. loaf.  It would just serve us right if bread cost 2s. 6d. a pound and there wasn’t any, like everything else.

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“It is all a matter of taste,” says a correspondent of The Daily Mail, “but I think parsnips are now at their best.”  They may be looking their best, but the taste remains the same.

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Seventy tons of blackberries for the soldiers have been gathered by school-children in Buckinghamshire.  Arrangements have been made for converting this fruit into plum-and-apple jam.

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“Home Ruler” was the occupation given by a Chertsey woman on her sugar-card application.  The food controller states that although this form of intimidation may work with the Government it has no terrors for him.

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The Russian Minister of Finance anticipates getting a revenue of forty million pounds from a monopoly of tea.  It is thought that he must have once been a grocer.

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The Law Courts are to be made available as an air-raid shelter by day and night, and some of our revue proprietors are already complaining of unfair competition.

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Two survivors of the battle of Inkerman have been discovered at Brighton.  Their inactivity in the present crisis is most unfavourably commented on by many of the week-end visitors.

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A dolphin nearly eight feet in length has been landed by a boy who was fishing at Southwold.  Its last words were that it hoped the public would understand that it had only heard of the food shortage that morning.

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Captain Otto SVERDRUP, the Arctic explorer, has returned his German decorations.  Upon hearing this the Kaiser at once gave orders for the North Pole to be folded up and put away.

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A certain number of cold storage eggs at sixpence each are being released in Berlin and buyers are urged to “fetch them promptly.”  In this connection several Iron Crosses have already been awarded for acts of distinguished bravery by civilians.

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