Last week the mistress of the house where he was mostly employed sent him to the grocer’s with, as usual, a slip of paper. The paper was addressed to the grocer, and it said, “Please do your utmost to give the bearer some sugar and tea. Even the smallest quantity will be gratefully welcomed.”
Entering the shop the soldier laid the message on the counter, prepared to wait patiently for the harassed tradesman to attend to him. He had often been there before and knew what it meant; but on this occasion the grocer instantly advanced to meet him, took the paper smilingly and read it.
“Certainly,” he replied. “I suppose four pounds of each would be enough to go on with?”
“Four pounds!” said the soldier. “Strike me pink, she’d think herself the Queen with four ounces!”
* * * * *
THINGS WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEE ILLUSTRATED.
From a recent novel:—
“... Then the gong
went, and she followed it into the
dining-room ...”
* * * * *
“Class A (fit for general service) is subdivided as follows:—1—Men actually fit for general service in any theatre in all respects. 2—Recruits who should be fit for A1 as soon as trained. 3—Men who have previously served with an expeditionary force who should be fit for L1 as soon as ‘hardened.’”—Scots Paper.
They must be well worth it, even in a soft state.
* * * * *
MORE WAR ECONOMY.
“BUTCHER.—Wanted, Second Hand.”—Manchester Evening News.
* * * * *
“Southport. Mrs.
——, Homely Apts.; sea view; piano:
mod.”—Daily
Paper.
We approve Mrs. ——’s candour about the piano, which accords with our own experience in seaside boarding-houses.
* * * * *
“Germany recently began calling up Class 19120.”—Western Mail.
The end of the War may be in sight, but it still seems to be some distance off.
* * * * *
“In districts where a number of shops were serving the same people and streets, they would be asked to co-operate so that butcher, baker and grocer would use the same vans. Traders who refused to comply with the scheme would be dealt with.”—Evening Paper.
But surely such unpatriotic shopkeepers should not be dealt with.
* * * * *
“Lost, on or about September
30 last, a Gold Bar Brooch, with
chaste Scotch terrier in centre.”—Manchester
Evening News.
We are glad to see that at least one of our dumb friends has not been affected by the wave of bigamy that has been sweeping over the country.
* * * * *
[Illustration: Old hand (supplying desired information to new arrival). “THOSE THINGS UP THERE? OH, THEY’RE CANTEENS FOR THE R.F.C.”]