In the first place, it was a sheer impossibility for me to offer “much money,” because all I had was that which, as Mr. Van Hee knows, Mr. Fletcher gave me when I was left behind.

In the second place, were I a spy, I certainly would not be offering money in a voice loud enough to be heard by the several witnesses that you have ready to testify.

In the third place, while not attempting to impeach the character of my accuser, may I submit the fact that my own standing will be vouched for by His Excellency the Governor of Massachusetts, the President of the Pilgrim Amalgamated Associated Advertising Clubs of America, the chief Rabbi in the Rabbinate of New England, etc., etc.

These men will attest the utter absurdity of any such charge being made against me.

In the last place, may I suggest that the theory of an unintentional mistake throws the best light upon the case?  For any conversation with my accuser was either in German or English.  You know my German linguistic ability and the error that might be made there; and as for English, I challenge my accuser to understand three consecutive sentences in English.

I trust you will take these facts into account before sentence is passed upon me.

Respectfully yours,

Albert R. Williams.

By the time this was finished a stir in the courtyard below heralded the beginning of the day’s activities.  And what did this day hold in store for me?

Chapter IV

Roulette And Liberty

Our morning toilet was completed with the aid of one small, flimsy towel for thirty of us.  Hot water tinctured with coffee and milk was served from a bucket with two or three cups.  Bread which had been saved from the previous day was brought forth from pockets and hiding-places, and for some unaccountable reason a piece of good butter was brought in.  Apparently the Germans were trying to escape the stigma of mistreating or underfeeding their prisoners.

Orders were given to get ready to move out.  After an hour, they were changed to “Clean up the room.”  When we had accomplished this, an inspecting officer entered and began to sniff and snort until his eyes fairly blazed with wrath, and then in a torrent of words he expressed his private and official opinion of us.  So fast and freely did his language flow that I couldn’t catch all the compliments he showered upon us; but “Verdammte!” “Donnerwetter!” and “Schwein!” were stressed frequently enough for me to retain a distinct memory of the same.  One did not have to be a German linguist to get the drift of his remarks.