I set to work again, numbering every phrase in my scribble-paper, and then in the same number on the other paper giving a full, readable translation of it.  I wrote out the things complimentary to the Germans in the fullest manner.  But how was I going to take the sting out of the adverse comments?

Phrase No. 1 meant “Musical nature of the German automobile horns.”  Their silver and flute-like notes had been a pleasing sound, rolling along the roads.  That was good.

Phrase No. 2 meant “The moderation of the Germans in not billeting more troops upon the hotels.”  I wondered why they had not commandeered quarters in more of the big empty hotels instead of compelling men to sleep in railway stations and in the open air.  That was good.

Phrase No. 3 meant “German officers never refused to contribute to the Belgian Relief Funds.”  These boxes were constantly shaken before them in every cafe, and not once was a box passed to an officer in vain.  For all this I was very grateful and everything went on very merrily until I came to phrase Number 4.

“If Bel I wld join posse Ger myself”; which, being interpreted, reads, “If I were a Belgian, I would join a posse against the Germans myself.”  That looked ugly, but I wanted to record for myself the ugly mood of resentment I had felt when I saw Belgians compelled to submit to certain humiliations and indignities from their invading conquerors.

German or non-German—­it makes no difference; any one who had seen those swaggering officers riding it rough-shod over those poor peasants would have felt the same tide of indignation mounting up in him.  In that mood it would have given me genuine pleasure to have joined a little killing-party and wiped out those officers.  Now these self-same officers were gathered round me trying to decide whether they were to have a little killing-party on their own account.

There was sufficient justification for inciting their wrath in that one sentence as it stood, and they were all combining to entrap me by every possible means.  Furthermore, they were hankering for a victim.  I had only my wits to match against their desires.  I cudgeled my brains as I never did before, but to no avail.  Almost panic-stricken I was ready to give up in despair and throw myself upon the mercy of the court when, like a flash of inspiration, the right reading came.  I transcribed that ugly phrase now to read:  “If I were among the Belgians, I would join possibly the Germans myself.”  What more could the most ardent German patriot ask for?  That met every abbreviation and made a beautifully exact reversal of the intended meaning.  Not as an example in ethics, but as a “safety first” exhibit I must confess to a real pride in that piece of work.  I handed it over with the cherubic expression of the prize-scholar in the Sunday School.