“My jewels, I was lyin’ in bed one mornin’, restin’ myself, in regard ov bein’ dhrunk the night afore, wid Scroggins an’ Jack Randall, an’ some more ov the boys; an’ as I was lyin’ on the broad ov my back, thinkin’ ov nothin’, a knock came to my door.  ‘Come in,’ says I, ‘iv you’re fat.’  So the door opened sure enough, an’ in come a great big chap, dhressed in the most elegantest way ever you see, wid a cockade in his hat, an’ a plume ov feathers out ov id, an’ goolden epulets upon his shouldhers, an’ tossels an’ bobs of goold all over the coat ov him, jist like any lord ov the land.  ‘Are you Dan Dann’ly,’ says he;—­’Throth an’ I am,’ says I; ‘an’ that’s my name sure enough, for want ov a better; an’ what do ye want wid me now you’ve found me.’—­’My masther is waitin’ to spake to ye, an’ sint me to tell you to come down to his place in a hurry.’—­’An’ who the devil is your masther?’ says I; ‘an’ didn’t think ye had one, only yourself, an’ you so fine.’—­’Oh,’ says he, ’my masther is the Prence Ragin.’—­’Blur an’ ouns,’ says I; ’tell his honour I’ll be wid him in the twinklin’ ov a bedpost, the minit I take my face from behind my beard, an’ get on my clane flax; but stop a bit,’ says I; ‘where does the masther live?’—­’Down at Carltown Palace,’ says he; ’so make yourself dacent, an’ be off wid yourself afther me.’  Wid that away he wint.

“Up I gets, an’ away I goes, the instant minit I put on my duds, down to Carltown Palace.  An’ it’s it that’s the place; twicet as big as the castle, or Kilmainham gaol, an’ groves ov threes round about it, like the Phaynix Park.  Up I goes to the gate, an’ I gives a little asy rap to show I wasn’t proud; who should let me in but the ’dentical chap that come to ax me up.  ‘Well, Dan,’ says he, ’you didn’t let the grass grow undher your feet; the masther’s waitin’, so away in wid ye as fast as ye can.’—­’An’ which way will I go?’ says I.—­’Crass the yard,’ says he, ‘an’ folley your nose up through the house, ever ’till you come to the dhrawin’-room door, an’ then jist rap wid your knuckle, an’ ye’ll get lave to come in.’  So away I wint acrass the yard, an’ it’s there the fun was goin’ on, soldiers marchin’, and fiddlers playin’, and monkeys dancin’, an’ every kind ov diversion, the same as ourselves here at Donnybrook Fair, only it lasts all the year round, from mornin’ till night, I’m tould.

“When I come to the house, in I wint, bowin’ an’ doin’ my manners in the most genteelest way to all the grand lords an’ ladies that was there, folleyin’ their own divarsion, the same as thim that was in the yard, every way they liked—­dhrinkin’, an’ singin’, an’ playin’ ov music, and dancin’ like mad!  I wint on, on, on, out ov one room an’ into another, till my head was fairly addled, an’ I thought I’d never come to the ind.  And sich grandeur!—­why, the playhouse was nothin’ to id.  At last I come to a beautiful big stairs, an’ up I wint; an’ sure enough there was the drawin’-room door, reachin’ up to the ceilin’ almost,