Sir Richard Steele, who represented the borough of Stockbridge, Hants, in parliament in the reign of Queen Anne, carried his election against a powerful opposition, by sticking a large apple full of guineas, and declaring that it should be the prize of that man whose wife was first brought to bed after that day nine months.  This merry offer procured him the interest of the ladies, who, it is said, commemorate Sir Richard’s bounty to this day, and once made a vigorous effort to procure a standing order of the corporation, that no man should ever be received as a candidate who did not offer himself on the same terms.

HALBERT H.

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EPITAPH ON A SILLY, DRUNKEN SOT.

His life and death five letters do express; A.B.C. he knew not, and he died of X.S.

G.J.F.

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CONVENIENT ABSENCE.

An individual often visited a landscape painter, who had a very beautiful wife, but he always met with the husband.  “Zounds,” said he, one day to him, “for a painter of landscapes, you are very seldom in the country.”

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TARRAGON.

We recommend our correspondent, Qy? to steep shalots and tarragon in vinegar, to be used as a sauce with rump-steaks.  Or he may chop the shalots and tarragon very fine, and sprinkle them over the meat.  Tarragon sprinkled over mutton chops is a nice relish; and with sauce piquante flavoured with the above vinegar, makes a dish on “which the gods might dine.”

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PEREMPTORY CONCLUSION.

An advocate, whose pleading appeared too diffuse for the cause he was defending, had received an order from the first president to abridge it; but the former, without omitting a word of his intended address, replied in a firm tone, that all he uttered was essential.  The president, hoping at length to make him silent, said to him, “The court orders you to conclude.”  “Well,” replied the advocate, “then I conclude that the court shall hear me.”

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GROUNDS OF RECOGNITION.

A man went to a restaurateur’s (or chop-house) in France, to dine.  He perceived another man in the room and hurried away to tell the master.  “If you do not, Sir, order that man, who is dining alone at the table in the corner, out of your house, a respectable individual will not be able to sit down in it.”—­“How is that, Sir?”—­“Because that is the executioner of R——.”  The host, after some hesitation, at length went and spoke to the stranger, who calmly answered him:  “By whom have I been recognised?”—­“By that gentleman,” said the landlord, pointing out the former.  “Indeed, he ought to know me, for it is not two years since I whipped and branded him.”