We always accompany the first visiters of countries, and when they take possession for their king, we do so for ourselves; and without being put to much trouble in carrying out stores, we have always the best and the pick of every thing.  Often have I laughed at the pains man took to preserve his property from man.  Stone and iron are made to do their best-armed sentries walking night and day—­when all the time I have, with the coolest composure, been daily wallowing in the best of every thing.  Nature abhors a vacuum, and will not allow us to starve, especially in the midst of plenty; but I may safely say, that I never wantonly destroyed, and, if possible, have always preferred the rich man’s store.

Before the flood, as the cave of Yorkshire no doubt proves, we were to be found in this island—­but upon this subject I shall not enter at present.  Probably what is now Britain, was not then an island—­I leave this, however, to wiser heads!

In the beginning of the year ——­, my parents accompanied the baggage of the ——­ Dragoon Guards to Scotland.  They told me they came in the carts with the sergeants’ wives, as being the most comfortable.  I was born above one of the stables on the east side of the court of Piershill barracks, or as I used to hear the soldiers then call it, “Jock’s Lodge,” which is within a mile and a half of Edinburgh.  My father was a kind, sensible gentleman, and was much esteemed by all his friends; and I sincerely forgive him for the great desire, and the many attempts he made to eat me up.  It was a natural instinct, and poor fellow, he could not be blamed for it.  If he had succeeded, it would have saved me many vexations and trials, but my poor mother thought otherwise; and I am sure she fought most valiantly with my father whenever he made any attempt of the kind.

[He might, perhaps, have lived and died in the barracks where he was born, had it not been for his miraculous escape from a hunt by the officers of the dragoons.  A few nights afterwards a large band of R*ts made an excursion of several miles, and in returning, remained for a day or two at Leith.  “It being a sea-port, they met with some of their own species from all parts of the world, the language of most of whom they could not understand.”—­He travels in the pocket of a captain to Edinburgh.  His adventures in this city are very amusing.  He next sails for Holland.]

We set sail in a few days with a fair wind down the Frith, and soon left the Bass and the May behind us.  I must confess, I was a little afraid, when, for the first time, I was out of sight of land.  It is a dismal thought to have nothing but sea and sky around, and only a frail plank between us and the fathomless depths of ocean.  This was my first voyage; but many a day and month and year have I spent on the water since that time.

I was a little squeamish or so for the first day, but nothing like some of our passengers.  The great secret I have always found, is to eat plenty, and drink a little brandy; that is much better than all your quack receipts.