But when Whedbee and I were ready to return to Antwerp it was a different matter.  The German authorities, though scrupulously polite, were adamantine in their refusal to permit us to pass through the German lines.  And we held no cards, as did Van Hee, with which to play diplomatic poker.  So we were compelled to bluff.  Telling the German commander that we would call on him again, we climbed into the car and quietly left the city by the same route we had followed upon entering it the preceding day.  All along the road we found soldiers smoking the cigarettes we had distributed to them.  Instead of stopping us and demanding to see our papers they waved their hands cheerily and called, “Auf wiedersehn!” As we knew that we could not get through Louvain without being stopped, we drove boldly up to headquarters and asked the general commanding the division if he would detail a staff officer to accompany us to the outer lines. (There seemed no need of mentioning the fact that we had no passes.) The general said, with profuse apologies, that he had no officer available at the moment, but hoped that a sergeant would do.  We carried the sergeant with us as far as Aerschot, distributing along the way what remained of our cigarettes.  At Aerschot we were detained for nearly an hour, as the officer who had visited Atlantic City, Niagara Falls and Coney Island insisted on our waiting while he sent for another officer who, until the outbreak of the war, had lived in Chicago.  We tried not to show our impatience at the delay, but our hair stood on end every time a telephone bell tinkled.  We were afraid that the staff in Brussels, learning of our unauthorized departure, would telephone to the outposts to stop us.  It was with a heartfelt sigh of relief that we finally shook hands with our hosts and left ruined Aerschot behind us.  I opened up the throttle, and the big car fled down the long, straight road which led to the Belgian lines like a hunted cat on the top of a backyard fence.

V. With The Spiked Helmets

It was really a Pittsburg chauffeur who was primarily responsible for my being invited to dine with the commander of the Ninth German Army.  The chauffeur’s name was William Van Calck and his employer was a gentleman who had amassed several millions manufacturing hats in the Smoky City.  When war was declared the hat-manufacturer and his family were motoring in Austria, with Van Calck at the wheel of the car.  The car being a large and powerful one, it was promptly commandeered by the Austrian military authorities; the hat-manufacturer and his family, thus dumped unceremoniously by the roadside, made their way as best they could to England; and Van Calck, who was a Belgian by birth, though a naturalized American, enlisted in the Belgian army and was detailed to drive one of the armoured motor-cars which so effectively harassed the enemy during the early part of the campaign in Flanders.