But to the point:  I ance had a monkey, ane of the drollest-looking deevils ye ever saw.  He was gayan big for a monkey, and was hairy a’ ower, except his face and his bit hurdies, which had a degree of bareness about them, and were nearly as saft as a lady’s loof.  Weel, what think ye that I did wi’ the beastie?  Odds, man, I dressed him up like a Heelandman, and put a kilt upon him, and a lang-tailed red coat, and a blue bannet, which for security’s sake I tied, woman-like, below his chin wi’ twa bits of yellow ribbon.  I not only did this, but I learnt him to walk upon his twa hinder legs, and to carry a stick in his right hand when he gaed out, the better to support him in his peregrinations.  He was for a’ the world like a wee man in kilts.

Weel, it turned out in this manner, as ye shall hear.  Ae afternoon towards the glomin’ I was oblegated to tak’ a stap doun to the cross, wi’ a web under my arm, which I had finished for Mr. Weft, the muslin manufacturer.  By way of frolic, a gayan foolish ane I allow, I brocht Nosey (the monkey’s name,) alang wi’ me.  He had on, as for ordinar’, his Heeland dress, and walkit behint me, wi’ the bit stick in his hand, and his tail sticking out frae below his kilt, as if he had been my flunky.  It was, after a’, a queer sicht, and, as may be supposed, I drew a haill crowd of bairns after me, bawling out, “Here’s Willy M’Gee’s monkey,” and gi’eing him nits and gingerbread, and makin’ as muckle of the cratur as could be; for Nosey was a great favourite in the town, and everbody likit him for his droll tricks, and the way he used to girn, and dance, and tumble ower his head, to amuse them.

On entering Mr. Weft’s shop, I faund it empty; there wasna a leeving soul within.  I supposed he had gane out for a licht; and being gayan familiar wi’ him, I took a stap ben to the back shop, leaving Nosey in the fore ane.  I sat for twa or three minutes, but naebody made his appearance.  At last the front door, which I had ta’en care to shut after me, opened, and I look’t to see wha it could be, thinking that, nae doubt, it was Mr. Weft, or his apprentice.  It was neither the ane nor the ither, but a strong middle-aged, red-faced Heelandman, wi’ specks on, and wi’ a kilt and a bannet, by a’ the world like my monkey’s.  Now, what think ye Nosey was about a’ this time?  He was sittin’ behind the counter upon the lang three-leggit stool that stood fornent Mr. Weft’s desk, and was turning ower the leaves of his ledger, wi’ a look which, for auld-fashioned sagaciousness, was wonderfu’ to behold.  I was sae tickled at the sight that I paid nae sort of attention to the Heelandman, but continued looking frae the back shop at Nosey, lauching a’ the time in my sleeve—­for I jealoused that some queer scene would tak’ place between the twa.  And I wasna far wrang, for the stranger, takin’ out a pound frae his spleuchan, handed it ower to the monkey, and speered at him, in his droll norlan deealect, if he could change a note.  When I heard this I thocht I would hae lauched outricht; and naething but sheer curiosity to see how the thing would end made me keep my gravity.  It was plain that Donald had ta’en Nosey for ane of his ain countrymen—­and the thing after a’ wasna greatly to be wondered at, and that for three reasons:—­