gods; science, in the same search for unity, may follow divergent methods of inquiry into ultimately uninterchangeable generalizations; and there may be not only not one universal moral law, but no effective reconciliation of the various rights and duties of a single individual.  At any rate I find myself doubtful to this day about my own personal systems of right and wrong.  I can never get all my life into one focus.  It is exactly like examining a rather thick section with a microscope of small penetration; sometimes one level is clear and the rest foggy and monstrous, and sometimes another.

“Now the ruling me, I do not doubt, is the man who has set his face to this research after aristocracy, and from the standpoint of this research it is my duty to subordinate all other considerations to this work of clearing up the conception of rule and nobility in human affairs.  This is my aristocratic self.  What I did not grasp for a long time, and which now grows clearer and clearer to me, is firstly that this aristocratic self is not the whole of me, it has absolutely nothing to do with a pain in my ear or in my heart, with a scar on my hand or my memory, and secondly that it is not altogether mine.  Whatever knowledge I have of the quality of science, whatever will I have towards right, is of it; but if from without, from the reasoning or demonstration or reproof of some one else, there comes to me clear knowledge, clarified will, that also is as it were a part of my aristocratic self coming home to me from the outside.  How often have I not found my own mind in Prothero after I have failed to find it in myself?  It is, to be paradoxical, my impersonal personality, this Being that I have in common with all scientific-spirited and aristocratic-spirited men.  This it is that I am trying to get clear from the great limitations of humanity.  When I assert a truth for the sake of truth to my own discomfort or injury, there again is this incompatibility of the aristocratic self and the accepted, confused, conglomerate self of the unanalyzed man.  The two have a separate system of obligations.  One’s affections, compounded as they are in the strangest way of physical reactions and emotional associations, one’s implicit pledges to particular people, one’s involuntary reactions, one’s pride and jealousy, all that one might call the dramatic side of one’s life, may be in conflict with the definitely seen rightnesses of one’s higher use. . . .”

The writing changed at this point.

“All this seems to me at once as old as the hills and too new to be true.  This is like the conflict of the Superior Man of Confucius to control himself, it is like the Christian battle of the spirit with the flesh, it savours of that eternal wrangle between the general and the particular which is metaphysics, it was for this aristocratic self, for righteousness’ sake, that men have hungered and thirsted, and on this point men have left father and mother and child