“When, on the contrary, we are staying at the houses of others, when we have seen them in the midst of all their habits and environments among those necessary conditions from which they cannot escape, when we have seen how they affect those about them, and how they adapt themselves to their circumstances, it is ignorance nay, worse, it is ill-will, to find ridiculous what in more than one sense has a claim on our respect.

“That which we call politeness and good breeding effects what otherwise can only be obtained by violence, or not even by that.

“Intercourse with women is the element of good manners.

“How can the character, the individuality, of a man co-exist with polish of manner?

“The individuality can only be properly made prominent through good manners.  Every one likes what has something in it, only it not be a disagreeable something.

“In life generally, and in society, no one has such high advantages as a well-cultivated soldier.

“The rudest fighting people at least do not go out of their character, and generally behind the roughness there is a certain latent good humor, so that in difficulties it is possible to get on, even with them.

“No one is more intolerable than an underbred civilian.  From him one has a right to look for a delicacy, as he has no rough work to do.

“When we are living with people who have a delicate sense of propriety, we are in misery on their account when anything unbecoming is committed.  So I always feel for and with Charlotte, when a person is tipping his chair.  She cannot endure it.

“No one would ever come into a mixed party with spectacles on his nose, if he did but know that at once we women lose all pleasure in looking at him or listening to what he has to say.

“Free-and-easiness, where there ought to be respect, is always ridiculous.  No one would put his hat down when he had scarcely paid the ordinary compliments if he knew how comical it looks.

“There is no outward sign of courtesy that does not rest on a deep moral foundation.  The proper education would be that which communicated the sign and the foundation of it at the same time.

“Behavior is a mirror in which every one displays his own image.

“There is a courtesy of the heart.  It is akin to love.  Out of it arises the purest courtesy in the outward behavior.

“A freely offered homage is the most beautiful of all relations.  And how were that possible without love?

“We are never further from our wishes than when we imagine that we possess what we have desired.

“No one is more a slave than the man who thinks himself free while he is not.

“A man has only to declare that he is free, and the next moment he feels the conditions to which he is subject.  Let him venture to declare that he is under conditions, and then he will feel that he is free.