’If I do escape, what may become of me, a poor, helpless, deserted creature!—­Helpless from sex!—­from circumstances!—­Exposed to every danger!—­Lord protect me!

’His vile man not gone with him!—­Lurking hereabouts, no doubt, to watch my steps!—­I will not go away by the chariot, however.——­

’That the chariot should come so opportunely!  So like his many opportunities!—­That Dorcas should have the sudden thought!—­Should have the courage with the thought, to address a lady in behalf of an absolute stranger to that lady!  That the lady should so readily consent!  Yet the transaction between them to take up so much time, their distance in degree considered:  for, arduous as the case was, and precious as the time, Dorcas was gone above half an hour!  Yet the chariot was said to be ready at a grocer’s not many doors off!

’Indeed some elderly ladies are talkative:  and there are, no doubt, some good people in the world.——­

’But that it should chance to be a widow lady, who could do what she pleased!  That Dorcas should know her to be so by the lozenge!  Persons in her station are not usually so knowing, I believe, in heraldry.

’Yet some may! for servants are fond of deriving collateral honours and distinctions, as I may call them, from the quality, or people of rank, whom they serve.  But this sly servant not gone with him!  Then this letter of Tomlinson!——­

’Although I am resolved never to have this wretch, yet, may I not throw myself into my uncle’s protection at Kentish-town, or Highgate, if I cannot escape before:  and so get clear of him?  May not the evil I know be less than what I may fall into, if I can avoid farther villany?  Farther villany he has not yet threatened; freely and justly as I have treated him!—­I will not go, I think.  At least, unless I can send this fellow away.*——­

* She tried to do this; but was prevented by the fellow’s pretending to put his ankle out, by a slip down stairs—­A trick, says his contriving master, in his omitted relation, I had taught him, on a like occasion, at Amiens.

’The fellow a villain!  The wench, I doubt, a vile wench.  At last concerned for her own safety.  Plays off and on about a coach.

’All my hopes of getting off at present over!—­Unhappy creature! to what farther evils art thou reserved!  Oh! how my heart rises at the necessity I must still be under to see and converse with so very vile a man!’

LETTER XXIX

Mr. Lovelace, to John Belford, ESQ. 
Wednesday afternoon.

Disappointed in her meditated escape; obliged, against her will, to meet me in the dining-room; and perhaps apprehensive of being upbraided for her art in feigning herself ill; I expected that the dear perverse would begin with me with spirit and indignation.  But I was in hopes, from the gentleness of her natural disposition; from the consideration which I expected from her on her situation; from the contents of the letter of Captain Tomlinson, which Dorcas told me she had seen; and from the time she had had to cool and reflect since she last admitted me to her presence, that she would not have carried it so strongly through as she did.