Arriving here in an instant, the first word I asked, was, If the lady was safe?

[Mr. Lovelace here gives a very circumstantial relation of all that
   passed between the Lady and Dorcas.  But as he could only guess at her
   motives for refusing to go off, when Dorcas told her that she had
   engaged for her the protection of the dowager-lady, it is thought
   proper to omit this relation, and to supply it by some memoranda of
   the Lady’s.  But it is first necessary to account for the occasion on
   which those memoranda were made.

The reader may remember, that in the letter written to Miss Howe, on
   her escape to Hampstead,* she promises to give her the particulars of
   her flight at leisure.  She had indeed thoughts of continuing her
   account of every thing that had passed between her and Mr. Lovelace
   since her last narrative letter.  But the uncertainty she was in from
   that time, with the execrable treatment she met with on her being
   deluded back again, followed by a week’s delirium, had hitherto
   hindered her from prosecuting her intention.  But, nevertheless,
   having it still in her view to perform her promise as soon as she had
   opportunity, she made minutes of every thing as it passed, in order to
   help her memory:—­’Which,’ as she observes in one place, ’she could
   less trust to since her late disorders than before.’  In these
   minutes, or book of memoranda, she observes, ’That having
   apprehensions that Dorcas might be a traitress, she would have got
   away while she was gone out to see for a coach; and actually slid down
   stairs with that intent.  But that, seeing Mrs. Sinclair in the entry,
   (whom Dorcas had planted there while she went out,) she speeded up
   again unseen.’

* See Vol.  V. Letter XXI.

She then went up to the dining-room, and saw the letter of Captain
   Tomlinson:  on which she observes in her memorandum-book as follows:]

’How am I puzzled now!—­He might leave this letter on purpose:  none of the other papers left with it being of any consequence:  What is the alternative?—­To stay, and be the wife of the vilest of men—­how my heart resists that!—­To attempt to get off, and fail, ruin inevitable!—­ Dorcas may betray me!—­I doubt she is still his implement!—­At his going out, he whispered her, as I saw, unobserved—­in a very familiar manner too—­Never fear, Sir, with a courtesy.

’In her agreeing to connive at my escape, she provided not for her own safety, if I got away:  yet had reason, in that case, to expect his vengeance.  And wants not forethought.—­To have taken her with me, was to be in the power of her intelligence, if a faithless creature.—­Let me, however, though I part not with my caution, keep my charity!—­Can there be any woman so vile to a woman?—­O yes!—­Mrs. Sinclair:  her aunt.—­The Lord deliver me!—­But, alas!—­I have put myself out of the course of his protection by the natural means—­and am already ruined!  A father’s curse likewise against me!  Having made vain all my friends’ cautions and solicitudes, I must not hope for miracles in my favour!