And determined to marry I would be, were it not for this consideration, that once married, and I am married for life.

That’s the plague of it!—­Could a man do as the birds do, change every Valentine’s day, [a natural appointment! for birds have not the sense, forsooth, to fetter themselves, as we wiseacre men take great and solemn pains to do,] there would be nothing at all in it.  And what a glorious time would the lawyers have, on the one hand, with their noverini universi’s, and suits commenceable on restitution of goods and chattels; and the parsons, on the other, with their indulgencies [renewable annually, as other licenses] to the honest desires of their clients?

Then, were a stated mullet, according to rank or fortune, to be paid on every change, towards the exigencies of the state [but none on renewals with the old lives, for the sake of encouraging constancy, especially among the minores] the change would be made sufficiently difficult, and the whole public would be the better for it; while those children, which the parents could not agree about maintaining, might be considered as the children of the public, and provided for like the children of the antient Spartans; who were (as ours would in this case be) a nation of heroes.  How, Jack, could I have improved upon Lycurgus’s institutions had I been a lawgiver!

Did I never show thee a scheme which I drew up on such a notion as this?  —­In which I demonstrated the conveniencies, and obviated the inconveniencies, of changing the present mode to this?  I believe I never did.

I remember I proved to a demonstration, that such a change would be a mean of annihilating, absolutely annihilating, four or five very atrocious and capital sins.—­Rapes, vulgarly so called; adultery, and fornication; nor would polygamy be panted after.  Frequently would it prevent murders and duelling; hardly any such thing as jealousy (the cause of shocking violences) would be heard of:  and hypocrisy between man and wife be banished the bosoms of each.  Nor, probably, would the reproach of barrenness rest, as it now too often does, where it is least deserved.—­Nor would there possibly be such a person as a barren woman.

Moreover, what a multitude of domestic quarrels would be avoided, where such a scheme carried into execution?  Since both sexes would bear with each other, in the view that they could help themselves in a few months.

And then what a charming subject for conversation would be the gallant and generous last partings between man and wife!  Each, perhaps, a new mate in eye, and rejoicing secretly in the manumission, could afford to be complaisantly sorrowful in appearance.  ’He presented her with this jewel, it will be said by the reporter, for example sake:  she him with that.  How he wept!  How she sobb’d!  How they looked after one another!’ Yet, that’s the jest of it, neither of them wishing to stand another twelvemonth’s trial.