One great attraction in the Midget Car is that you need not use a rug to throw over its bonnet in cold weather.  A tea-cosy will do.

WHAT OFFERS?—­Advertiser, breaking up his collection, will sell his stud of tame mice, two goldfish and several obsolete silkworms, or would exchange for two-seater Midget with spanner.

DEAR SIR.—­I have a small two-seater car.  It is quite a young one.  At what age can I start feeding it on greenstuff?  SMITH, MINOR.

PERSONAL.—­Will the individual who was driving a Midget Car which ran over old gentleman in the Strand be good enough to come forward and pay for the watch-glass which he cracked?

BE ECONOMICAL.—­Our Midgets only smell the petrol.  It costs no more to run a Midget than it does to run an automatic pipe-lighter.

To the Midget Motor Car Company.

GENTLEMEN,—­With reference to the Midget Car you measured me for recently, I ought to have mentioned that I wanted patch pockets on the outside, in which to carry the tools.  Yours, etc.

FOR SALE.—­Owner whose two-seater car is a trifle tight under the arms wishes to dispose of his pair of white spats.

* * * * *

    “Prince Eitel Fritz has been telling the Germans that his father,
    the ex-Kaiser, is now ‘legally’ dead.  We must get rid of that
    adjective without delay.”—­John Bull.

“If you see it in John Bull ...”  Grammarians please note.

* * * * *

    “CHRIST CHURCH, ——.—­Wanted at once, for definitely
    Protestant Evangelical Church, light-minded colleague to
    share ministry.”—­Record.

A chance for our demobilised humorists.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE TRAFFIC PROBLEM.  TEACHING THE YOUNG IDEA HOW TO TUBE.]

* * * * *

THE MILKY MOLAR.

    ["Last week one of my back teeth dropped out in
    the middle Greek.”—­Schoolboy’s letter.]

  Last week at the preparatory school
  Where Frederick learns how not to be a fool,
  Where he disports at ease with Greek and Latin,
  And mathematics too is fairly pat in—­
  On Tuesday morn, the subject being Greek
  (It always is on that day in the week),
  Our Frederick, biting hard, as youngsters do,
  Bit a Greek root and cleft it clean in two. 
  This was a merely metaphoric bite;
  The next was fact, and gave the boy a fright: 

  For lo! there came a crumbling
  At the back of his mouth and a rumbling,
  And a sort of sound like a grumbling,
  And out there popped, as pert as you please,
  A milky back tooth that had taken its ease
  For too many weeks and months and years. 
  An object, when loose, of anxious fears,
  It had now debouched and lost its place
  At the back of a startled schoolboy’s face. 
      Oh, out it popped,
      And down it dropped
      In the middle of Greek
      Last Tuesday week.