“That must, I think, be wrong,” said Mobbles.

“Quite,” said the Adjutant’s child.

“Well, then, put it in another way,” said the Adjutant.  “X can’t be demobilised because there is no reason for his going, and he can’t stay because there is no authority for retaining him.  In other words, to put it quite clearly, as he is being retained he can’t go, and as he is being demobilised he isn’t to be retained.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Quite,” said the Adjutant’s child.

Mobbles was beyond speech and busily engaged in working it out on paper in decimals.

There was, a knock at the door; a signaller brought a wire, “Report immediately position of Second-Lieut.  X.”

There was a moment’s silence as the Adjutant grasped a message-pad and thought deeply what to say.  He wrote a few lines and then looked up.  “This is what I have said:  ’Second-Lieut.  X staying if retained, but available to go if eligible; also eligible for retention if available.’  Am I clear?”

“Quite,” said the Adjutant’s child.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  ENGLAND EXPECTS.

{WITH MR. PUNCH’S BEST HOPES FOR THE SUCCESS OF THE NATIONAL
INDUSTRIAL CONFERENCE.}

BOTH LIONS (together).  “UNACCUSTOMED AS I AM TO LIE DOWN WITH
ANYTHING BUT A LAMB, STILL, FOR THE PUBLIC GOOD....”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Monday, February 17th.—­On the motion for the rejection of the Bill to relieve Ministers from the necessity of re-election, Mr. PEMBERTON-BILLING incidentally revealed the horrifying fact that he has compiled another Black Book, containing a full list of the PRIME MINISTER’S election pledges.  They do not quite come up to the notorious figure of 47,000; but they total 1,211, which seems enough to go on with, and they are all “cross-referenced.”

More serious, from the Government’s point of view, was the criticism of some of their regular supporters.  Lord WINTERTON, speaking as an old Member of the House—­though he still looks youthful enough to be its “baby,” as he was fifteen years ago—­affirmed the value of by-elections as a gauge for public opinion; Major GRAEME, one of the new Coalitionists, thought it would be a mistake to part with a means of testing the record of a Ministry which the War has “swollen to the size of a Sanhedrim.”

As the soft answers of the ATTORNEY-GENERAL—­whom the late Mr. ROOSEVELT would have probably termed “pussy-footed”—­failed to quell the rising storm, the LEADER OF THE HOUSE bowed before it and offered to agree to the insertion in the Bill of a time-limit.

[Illustration:  Portrait of Winston by MR. MOSELY, a promising young artist.]