‘What an abominable instrument a bad organ is!’
I had thought it beautiful, of course. I asked
him what he had been playing. I said was it not
by Mozart; and then I saw his eyebrows go up; so I
added, as a saving clause, that perhaps it was something
of his own. ‘My dear girl,’ said
he, ‘it was only an
entr’acte from
an opera of Donizetti’s.’ He was
carrying my shawl at the time; and he wrapped it about
my shoulders in the tenderest manner as he said this,
and made love to me all the evening to console me.
In his opinion, the greatest misfortune that can happen
anyone is to make a fool of oneself; and whenever I
do it, he pets me in the most delicate manner, as
if I were a child who had just got a tumble.
When we settled down here and got the organ, he began
to play constantly, and I used to practise the piano
in the daytime so as to have duets with him.
But though he was always ready to play whenever I
proposed it, he was quite different then from what
he was when he played by himself. He was all
eyes and ears, and the moment I played a wrong note
he would name the right one. Then I generally
got worse and stopped. He never lost his patience
or complained; but I used to feel that he was urging
me on, or pulling me back, or striving to get me to
do something which I could not grasp. Then he
would give me up in despair, and play on mechanically
from the notes before him, thinking of something else
all the time. I practised harder, and tried again.
I thought at first I had succeeded; because our duets
went so smoothly and we were always so perfectly together.
But I discovered—by instinct I believe—that
instead of having a musical treat, he was only trying
to please me. He thought I liked playing duets
with him; and accordingly he used to sit down beside
me and accompany me faithfully, no matter how I chose
to play.”
“Dear me! Why doesnt he get Rubinstein
to play with him, since he is so remarkably fastidious?”
“It is not so much mechanical skill that I lack;
but there is something—I cannot tell what
it is. I found it out one night when we were
at Mrs. Saunders’s. She is an incurable
flirt; and she was quite sure that she had captivated
Ned, who is always ready to make love to anyone that
will listen to him.”
“A nice sort of man to be married to!”
“He only does it to amuse himself. He does
not really care for them: I almost wish he did,
sometimes; but it is often none the less provoking.
What is worse, no amount of flirtation on my part would
make him angry. What happened at Mrs.
Saunders’s was this. The Scotts, of Putney,
were there; and the first remark Ned made to me was,
’Who is the woman that knows how to walk?’
It was Mrs. Scott: you know you used to say she
moved like a panther. Afterward Mrs. Scott sang
‘Caller Herrin’ in that vulgar Scotch
accent that leaks out occasionally in her speech,
with Ned at the piano. Everybody came crowding
in to listen; and there was great applause. I