“ORDER OF THE DAY.

  “The vast multitude will be assembled on the Public Square, in rear of
  the Candy Factory, under the direction of Marshal JOHN A. DITTO, where
  they will be formed in procession in the following order: 

  “1.  Officers of the Day, in their stocking feet.

  “2.  Revolutionary Relics, under the direction of the venerable G.W.S. 
  Mattocks.

  “3.  Soldiers of the last War, looking for Bounty Land Warrants.

  “4.  The Mayor and Common Council, drawn in a Willow Wagon, by the
  Force of Habit.

  “5.  Officers of the Hoodoos, drawn by 13 Shanghai Chickens, and driven
  by Joe Garlinghouse’s Shanghai Quail.

  “6.  The Bologna Guards, in new dress, counting their money.

  “7.  The Ancient Fire Company expecting their treasurer to chuck 42$ 50
  under their windows.

  “The procession will then march to the grove in rear of Smith
  Scovell’s barn, where the following exercises will take place:—­

  “1.  The reading of the Declaration of Independence—­by the Tinker,
  Dan.

  “2.  Oration—­by Bill Garrison.

  “3.  Hymn—­There was three Crows sit on a Tree—­by the Hoodo Choir.

  “4.  Benediction—­by Elder Bibbins.

  “After which the multitude will repair to Charley Babcock’s old stand
  for Refreshments.

  “Bill of Fare.—­1.  Mud Turtle Soup. 2.  Boiled Eggs, hard. 3. 
  Pea-nuts. 4.  Boiled Eggs, soft. 5.  More Pea-nuts.

  “Dessert.—­Scotch Herring, dried. 2.  Do. do., dead. 3.  Do., done
  brown. 4.  Sardines, by special request.

  “Wines and Liquors.—­Hugh Doty’s Rattle-Belly Pop. 2. 
  Hide-and-go-Seek (a new brand).

  “Precisely at 4 o’clock, P.M., the Double Oven Air Calorie Engine,
  attached to a splendidly decorated Wheel barrow, will make an
  excursion, on the

  Conhocton Valley Switch,

  to the old Hemp Factory and back.  It is expected that the President
  and Directors will go over the Road, and they are to have the first
  chance, strictly under the direction of the ‘Rolling Stock.’

“Hail, ye freeborn Sons of Happy America.  ‘Arouse, Git up, and Git!’
Music—­Loud Fifing during the day.

“June, 1853.

“By Order of COMMITTEE.”

* * * * *

“CLEAR THE TRACK FOR THE LIGHTNING LINE OF MALE AND FEMALE STAGES!!!

“From Perry to Geneseo and back in a Flash.

“BAGGAGE, PERSONS, AND EYESIGHT AT RISK OF OWNERS, AND NO QUESTIONS
ANSWERED.