inspector—­“I s’pose you’re come to look at our bilers, sir?” “Yes, sir, I am.”  The parties all instinctively drawing nearer and nearer to the bar.  “Well, sir, let’s have a drink.”—­“Well, sir, let’s.”—­“A cigar, sir?”—­“Thank’ee, sir!” Parties smoke and drink.  Ingeniously enough, the required document and pen and ink are all lying handy:  the obdurate heart of the inspector is quite melted by kindness.  “Well, sir, I s’pose your bilers are all right?”—­“I guess they are that, sir, and nurthin else; you can’t go and for to bust them bilers of mine, fix it anyhow you will; you can’t that, I do assure you, sir.”—­What inspector can doubt such clear evidence.—­“Take another glass, sir, do.”—­“Thank’ee, I’ll sign this paper first.”  The inspection is over, all except the “glass” and the “’bacco,” which continue to flow and fume.  The skippers of these boats are rough enough; but I always found them very civil, plain spoken, and ready to give all the information in their power; and many of them have confessed to me that the inspection was but too often conducted in the manner above described.

There is little to interest in the account of a trip down the river.  The style of society met with on board these vessels, I have already given you a sketch of; it may sometimes be better, and sometimes worse.  One of my “messmates” in this boat, was a young fellow who had been second captain of the mizen-top on board of H.M.S.  “Vengeance;” but not liking the style of discipline, especially—­as he said—­the irritating substitutes for flogging which have been introduced of late years into the Navy, to suit the mawkish sensibility of public opinion in England, as well as the clamours of the all-ruling Press, he took the first opportunity of running away, to seek his fortune in the Far West.  He observed to me one day, “Those chaps who kick up such a devil of a row about flogging in the Navy, whatever their intentions may be, are no real friends to the sailor or the service.”

As a slight illustration of the truth of his remarks, I may here observe that a purser in the American Navy, in which service they have lately abolished flogging, told me, that soon after the paying off of a line-of-battle ship in which he had been serving, he happened to meet fifty of his old shipmates in the port, and asking them what they were going to do, they told him they were about to embark for England, to take service in the English Navy; for said they, “Since corporal punishment has been abolished, the good men have to do all the work, and that wont pay.”  Only three of the fifty had ever been in the English service.  There can be no doubt that many gentlemen of sensitive minds, seeing the names of their brother officers dragged before the public, through the House of Commons or the columns of an anonymous Press, endeavour to keep up discipline by other means, which annoy Jack far more, or else, slackening the bonds of discipline, leave all the work to be done by the willing and the good; anything, rather than be branded as a tyrant in every quarter of the globe by an anonymous assailant, knowing full well that, however explicit a denial may be inserted, ten people will read the charge for every one that reads its contradiction.  But I am wandering from my young friend, the captain of the mizen-top.