’I have no friend. I don’t believe in friends. You think people are your friends, and then you find they are not.’
‘How can I convince you of the injustice of your suspicions?’
’I see all plainly enough; it is fate, I suppose.... Selfishness. We all think of ourselves—we can’t help it; and that’s what makes life so miserable.... He would be a very good match. You have got him to like you. Perhaps you didn’t intend to; but you have done it all the same.’
’But, Emily dear, listen! There is no question of marriage between me and Mr. Price. If you will only have patience, things will come right in the end.’
‘For you, perhaps.’
‘Emily, Emily! ... You should try to understand things better.’
‘I feel them, even if I don’t understand.’
’Admit that you were wrong about the ring. Have I not convinced you that you were wrong?’
Emily did not answer. But at the end of a long silence, in which she had been pursuing a different train of thought, she said, ’Then you mean that he has never asked you to marry him?’
The directness of the question took Julia by surprise, and, falsehood being unnatural to her, she hesitated, hardly knowing what to answer. Her hesitation was only momentary; but in that moment there came up such a wave of pity for the grief-stricken girl that she lied for pity’s sake, ’No, he never asked me to marry him. I assure you that he never did. If you do not believe me——’ As she was about to say, ‘I will swear it if you like,’ an irresponsible sensation of pride in her ownership of his love surged up through her, overwhelming her will, and she ended the sentence, ’I am very sorry, but I cannot help it.’
The words were still well enough; it was in the accent that the truth transpired. And then yielding still further to the force which had subjugated her will, she said—
‘I admit that we have talked about a great many things.’ (Again she strove not to speak, but the words rose red-hot to her lips.) ’He has said that he would like to marry, but I should not think of accepting——’
‘Then it is just as I thought!’ Emily cried; ‘he wants to get rid of me!’
Julia was shocked and surprised at the depth of disgraceful vanity and cowardice which special circumstances had brought within her consciousness. The Julia Bentley of the last few moments was not the Julia Bentley she was accustomed to meet and interrogate, and she asked herself how she might exorcise the meanness that had so unexpectedly appeared in her. Should she pile falsehood on falsehood? She felt it would be cruel not to do so; but Emily said, ’He wants to marry to get rid of me, and not because he loves you.’ Then it was hard to deny herself the pleasure of telling the whole truth; but she mastered her desire of triumph, and, actuated by nothing but sincerest love and pity, she said—
’Oh, Emily dear, he never asked me to marry him; he does not love me at all! Why will you not believe me?’