The late Mr. Christie, the auctioneer, while selling a collection of pictures, having arrived at a chef-d’oeuvre of Wilson’s, was expatiating with his usual eloquence on its merits, quite unaware that Wilson himself had just before entered the room.  “This gentlemen, is one of Mr. Wilson’s Italian pictures; he cannot paint anything like it now.”  “That’s a lie!” exclaimed the irritated artist, to Mr. Christie’s no small discomposure, and to the great amusement of the company; “he can paint infinitely better.”

* * * * *

SCOTCH DEGREE.

A few years since, a vain old country surgeon obtained a diploma to practice, and called on Dr. H——­, of Bath, with the important intelligence.  At dinner, the doctor asked his new brother, if the form of diplomas ran now in the same style as at the early commencement of those honours?  “Pray Sir, what might that form be?” says the surgeon, “I’ll give it to you,” replied our Galen, when stepping to his daughter’s harpsichord, he sung the following prophecy of the Witches to Macbeth: 

  He must, he must,
  He shall, he shall
  Spill much more blood
  And become worse,
  To make his title good.

“That, sir, was the true ancient mode of conferring a Scotch degree on Dr. Macbeth.”

G.J.Y.

* * * * *

THREE FACES.

    Three faces wears the doctor; when first sought
    An angel’s—­and a god’s the cure half wrought;
    But when, that cure complete, he seeks his fee,
    The devil looks then less terrible than he.

This epigram is illustrated by the following conversation, which passed between Bouvart and a French marquis, whom he had attended during a long and severe indisposition.  As he entered the chamber on a certain occasion, he was thus addressed by his patient:  “Good day to you, Mr. Bouvart; I feel quite in spirits, and think my fever has left me.”—­“I am sure of it, " replied the doctor; “the very first expression you used convinces me of it.”—­“Pray explain yourself.”—­“Nothing more easy; in the first days of your illness, when your life was in danger, I was your dearest friend; as you began to get better, I was your good Bouvart; and now I am Mr. Bouvart; depend upon it you are quite recovered.”

* * * * *

LYING.

A Dutch ambassador, entertaining the king of Siam with an account of Holland, after which his majesty was very inquisitive, amongst other things told him, that water in his country would sometimes get so hard, that men walked upon it; and that it would bear an elephant with the utmost ease.  To which the king replied, “Hitherto I have believed the strange things you have told me, because I looked upon you as a sober, fair man; but now I am sure you lie.”