and therefore ought not to be mixed together:  for the love of a mistress is an unchaste, natural, and external love; whereas the love of marriage is chaste, spiritual, and internal.  The love of a mistress keeps the souls of two persons distinct, and unites only the sensual principles of the body; but the love of marriage unites souls, and from their union conjoins also the sensual principles of the body, until from two they become as one, which is one flesh.  V. The love of a mistress enters only into the understanding and the things which depend on it; but the love of marriage enters also into the will and the things which depend on it, consequently into every thing appertaining to man (homo); wherefore if the love of a mistress becomes the love of marriage, a man cannot retract from any principle of right, and without violating the conjugial union; and if he retracts and marries another woman, conjugial love perishes in consequence of the breach thereof.  It is to be observed, that the love of a mistress is kept separate from conjugial love by this condition, that no engagement of marriage be made with the mistress, and that she be not induced to form any such expectation.  Nevertheless it is far better that the torch of the love of the sex be first lighted with a wife.

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461.  To the above I shall add the following MEMORABLE RELATION.  I was once conversing with a novitiate spirit who, during his abode in the world, had meditated much about heaven and hell. (Novitiate spirits are men newly deceased, who are called spirits, because they are then spiritual men.) As soon as he entered into the spiritual world he began to meditate in like manner about heaven and hell, and seemed to himself, when meditating about heaven, to be in joy, and when about hell, in sorrow.  When he observed that he was in the spiritual world, he immediately asked where heaven and hell were, and also their nature and quality?  And he was answered, “Heaven is above your head, and hell beneath your feet; for you are now in the world of spirits, which is immediate between heaven and hell; but what are their nature and quality we cannot describe in a few words.”  At that instant, as he was very desirous of knowing, he fell upon his knees, and prayed devoutly to God that he might be instructed; and lo! an angel appeared at his right hand, and having raised him, said, “You have prayed to be instructed concerning heaven and hell; INQUIRE AND LEARN WHAT DELIGHT IS, AND YOU WILL KNOW;” and having said this, the angel was taken up.  Then the novitiate spirit said within himself, “What does this mean, Inquire and learn what delight is, and you will know the nature and quality of heaven and hell?” And leaving that place, he wandered about, and accosting those he met, said, “Tell me, if you please, what delight is?” Some said, “What a strange question!  Who does not know what delight is?  Is it not joy and gladness?  Wherefore delight is delight; one