I am the doughty, the illustrious beast,
Called Leo, father of the
Panther young,
Tho’ last begotten, not belov’d
the least,
You all know I have a roast
beef tongue:
Then, hear my John Bull clamour, hear
my shout!
Why, why the d——, roust
we all tarn out?
Did I not keep a beef-eater below
To show the ladies to my monarch
cave?
I kept a constant levee day of show,
And seldom monarchs so polite
behave!
You paid far less for seeing me, I ken,
Than porterage for seeing noble
men.
Did I not eat my supper in your presence.
And gnaw the beef bone with
a greedy tusk?
Did you not shudder at the marrow’s
essence,
Not quite so beautiful or
sweet as musk?
Did I not ope my lion fauces wider
Than is the difference ’twixt Moore
and Ryder?
Then, why the d——?—I’m
obliged to swear!
Must we turn out, to grace
the monarch’s mews,
From the thronged Strand which seemed
our native air,
And, where as thick as piety
in pews,
We growl’d within our dens, nor
hop’d to change,
Nor wish’d, Instead of Exeter, a
change.
Sweet lovely corner, neighb’ring
the Lyceum,
Lord of whose showy board
I used to crow.
Frighting my brethren when folks came
to see ’em,
Or cutlery of Mr. Clarke below;
I mourn thee in the King’s Mews,
Mr. Cross
Get Mr. Southey’s muse to sing my
loss.
Yes, I am chang’d, like shillings
from the Mint
Sent forth to find another
one’s protection!
Chang’d as palaver which the members
print
And do not follow after their
election!
Ah! Mr. Cross, your gratitude is
low,
You might have ask’d me where I
wish’d to go.
Since we have turn’d out, like a
minister
Whose day of residence on
loaves and fishes,
Finding himself unable to defer,
He offers up, as if ’twere
to his wishes;
Listen, tho’ lately coming, to my
moan,
And then I’ll tell you where we
should have gone.
The Monkeys should have dwelt in the Arcade,
And join’d their fellows,
and their brethren Ape
Sat in the shop where clothes are ready
made,
To show how elegant they fit
the shape!
The Bears gone westward also, ne’er
to range
The city, lest they got upon the Change.
The Tigers, with their talons might have
got
A place as blood letters to
Dr. Brooks!
The Ounces found themselves a cosy spot
In a confectioner’s
or pastrycook’s,
And yet I question howsoe’er they
bake,
That sixteen ounces make not a
pound-cake.
And, O, you Elephant!—I beg
your pardon!
Dead Chunee! listen to my
grave petition,
And take your ivory to Covent Garden;
That they may furnish me a
free admission,
And you, you Lynx, you ought to out, and
sally
The Winter Theatres, or dark blind alley.