***

A contemporary anticipates a boom in very light motor cars at a hundred and thirty pounds each.  They are said to be just the thing to carry in the tool-box in case of a breakdown.

***

A sensation has been caused in Scotland, says The National News, by the passing of a number of counterfeit Treasury notes.  As we go to press we learn that most of the victims are going on as well as can be expected, though recovery is naturally slow.

***

Mr. William le QUEUX is said to be very much annoyed at the wicked way in which Russia has been appropriated by other writers.

***

Much regret is felt at the news that the recent outbreak of Jazz music is not to be dealt with at the Peace Conference.

***

Is gallantry dying out?  We ask because Tit Bits has an article entitled, “Women Burglars.”  We may be old-fashioned, but surely it should be “Lady Burglars.”

***

On the last day for investing in National War Bonds, a patriotic subaltern was heard at Cox’s asking if his overdraft could be transferred to these securities.

***

“The market price of radium to-day,” says a Continental journal, “is L345,000 an ounce.”  In order to avert waste and deterioration, purchasers are advised to store the stuff in barrels in a large dry cellar.

***

Mr. Punch does not wish to boast unduly of his unique qualities, but up to the time of going to press he had made no offer for Drury Lane Theatre.

***

In view of the recent newspaper articles on spiritualism, several prominent persons are about to announce that they have decided not to grant any interviews after death.

***

Liverpool Licensing Justices have urged the Liquor Control Board to take steps to prevent the drinking of methylated spirits by women.  It is suggested that distillers should be compelled to give their whisky a distinctive flavour.

***

“A box of cigarettes was all that burglars took from the Theatre Royal, Aldershot,” says a news item.  There is something magnificently arrogant about that “all.”

***

“Saying ‘Thank you’ to a customer,” says a news item, “a Wallasey butcher fell unconscious.”  In our neighbourhood it used to be, until quite lately, the customer who fell unconscious.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “Now look here, Simpkins—­I can’t have my chief Cashier turning up like this.  It’s A disgrace to the office.”

“Well, sir, I started all right, but I came by tube.”]

* * * * *

The career.