Women are funny creatures and I’m glad I don’t own one.  Snap, the butcher’s dog, even went so far as to suggest that we should adopt anti-feminism as a plank in our platform, but the Irish Wolfhound who comes from Cavendish Square said that his mistress was driving an ambulance in France and that, in her absence, anyone who had anything to say against women would have to see him first.  Of course it’s very difficult to argue with that kind of dog, and, though Snap seemed inclined to press the point, I ruled the proposal out of order.  The value of resource is one of the things you learn in the Army.

I think Snap was rather relieved really, because after the meeting he asked me to go and help him dig up a nearly new mutton bone that he had buried under a laurel bush in the Square.

Well, to return to our platform, what we say about these foreign dogs is “Keep them all out.”  Of course there are some Allied dogs, like Poodles and Plumpuddings and Boston terriers, that have earned the right to be considered one of ourselves, but when it comes to having Mexican Hairless and Schipperkes and heaven knows what else coming into the country and taking the biscuits out of our mouths—­well, we say it isn’t good enough.  Not that we’re insular, mind you, but to hear some of these mangy foreigners talking about the Brotherhood of Dogs!  But I must tell you how Bolshevism raised its ugly head in our midst.  It was while we were discussing the second plank in our platform, which is “DOGS, NOT DOORMATS.”

But there, Master is calling me to take him for a walk, so it must wait till next week.  ALGOL.

(To be continued.)

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Official (to applicant for post as policewoman).  “AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THE EVENT OF A STREET ACCIDENT?”

Applicant.  “OH, I SHOULD—­ER—­CALL A POLICEMAN.”]

* * * * *

    “German civil officials in Nancy must salute American officers. 
    Failure to obey the order means arrest.”—­Globe.

We hear that the same regulation applies to all German civil officials in Lyons, Toulouse and Bordeaux.

* * * * *

NEW BOOKS

FROM MESSRS.  TRUEMAN AND WASHINGTON’S LIST.

THE ZOOMERS.

BY GLADYS WANK.

PRICE 6/113/4.

A new writer who by virtue of her godlike genius takes her seat with HOMER, DANTE, SHAKSPEAKE and MARIE CORELLI, and a novel such as the world has not known since The Miseries of Mephistopheles startled the comatose mid-Victorians from their slumbers—­both stand revealed in these soul-shaking pages.  To say that this is the novel of the year is to malign its greatness It is the novel of the century, of all centuries, of all time.

FIRST REVIEW BEFORE PUBLICATION.