And if indeed our end must be more tame, Let large well-mounted photographs be made Of this high gathering, and let each name Beneath each face be generously displayed, That I may say, when penury has crept Too near for decency, to some old snob, “That was the kind of company I kept When England needed me”—­and get a job.

  A.P.H.

* * * * *

    “Good Servants of all kings required at once.—­Apply Mrs. ——­’s
    Registry.”—­Provincial Paper.

There should be a good supply, as several monarchs have lately given up housekeeping.

* * * * *

    “REQUIRED, ROMPOTER, to float L50,000 company for manufacturing
    bricks for reconstruction.  Curiosity mongers please
    refrain.”—­Daily Paper.

But for the warning we should have been sorely tempted to inquire what a “Rompoter” may be.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “DORA” DISCOMFITED.

“DORA.”  “WHAT, NO CENSORSHIP?” [Swoons.]

{The Foreign Office has announced that Press Correspondents’ messages about the Peace Congress will not be censored.}]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Jock.  “BON JOUR, M’SIEUR.  NOUS AVONS REVENUS DE PERMISSION ET NOUS SOMMES BLINQUANT MISERABLE.  SI VOUS FEREZ MON AMI DE SOURIRE, JE DONNERAI VOUS DIX FRANCS.”]

* * * * *

THE WAR DOGS’ PARTY.

I am a plain dog that barks his mind and believes in calling a bone a bone, not one of your sentimental sort that allows the tail—­that uncontrollable seat of the emotions—­to govern the head.  I voted Coalition, of course.  As a veteran—­three chevrons and the Croix de Guerre—­I could hardly refuse to support the man who above all others helped us war dogs to beat the Bosch.  But to say that I am satisfied with the way things are going on—­that’s a mouse of a very different colour, as the phrase goes.  A terrier person who claims to own the PRIME MINISTER and has been very busy demanding what he calls our invaluable suffrages buttonholed me the other day outside the tripe shop and commenced to tell me all the wonderful things that we dogs would get if we only elected a strong Coalition Government—­better biscuits, larger kennels, equal rabbits for all and I don’t know what else.  But when I asked him plainly, “Are you in favour of keeping out the dachshunds?” the fellow hedged and said the question was not so important as some people seemed to think, and that financial interests had to be considered.