“Farewell to the freaks of the jovial spark,
    Who rejoiced in a gentle riot,—­
  To the midnight spree, and the morning lark,
  There’ll never more be any fun after dark,
    And people will sleep in quiet.

  “No more shall a Tom or a Jerry now
    Engaging in fisty battle,
  Break many heads and the peace;—­for how,
  I should like to know, can there be a row,
    When there is ne’er a rattle?

  “One cry no more on the ear shall grate,
    Convivial friends alarming,
  Who straightway start and separate,
  Blessing themselves that it is so late;—­
    To break up a party is charming!

  “But our ruthless foe wilt be punish’d anon;—­
     Bundled out without pity or parley,
  His office and occupation gone,
  Lost, disgraced, despised, undone,
    Oh! then he’ll remember the Charley.”

  Just then I beheld a Jarvey near,
    Which on the spot presenting,
  I scrambled in like one in fear
  With a ghost at his heels, or a flea in his ear,
    And he was left lamenting!

Blackwood’s Magazine.

* * * * *

GOOD AND BAD STYLES OF LIVING.

Good style of living consists in having a mansion exquisitely fitted up with all the expensive bijouterie compatible with true elegance, yet avoiding the lavish superabundance of gimcrackery which borders on vulgarity; comely serving men in suitable liveries, all so well initiated into the mysteries of their respective duties, that a guest could imagine himself in a fairy palace, where plates vanish without the contamination of a mortal finger and thumb, and glasses move without a jingle:  then the feast is exquisitely cooked and exquisitely served; the table groans not, the hostess carves not; but one delicious dainty is followed by another, and each remove brings forth a dish more piquante than the last:  every thing is delightful, but there must appear to be an abundance of nothing; two spoonsful alone of each delicious viand should repose under its silver cover; and he who dared ask to be helped a second time to any thing, ought to be sentenced to eternal transportation from the regions of haut ton.

Bad style of living—­Shocking even to describe!  A large house in streets or squares unknown; hot, ugly men servants, stumbling over one another in their uncouth eagerness to admit you; your name mispronounced, and shouted at the drawing-room door; your host and hostess in a fuss, apologizing, asking questions, and boring you to death; dinner at length announced, but no chance of extrication from the dull drawing-room, because the etiquette of precedence is not rightly understood, and nobody knows who ought to be led out first; all the way down stairs a dead silence, and then the difficulty of distributing the company almost equals the previous dilemma of the drawing-room: