Each had a bunch of “chits,” as they call them—­recommendations from previous employers, testifying to their intelligence, honesty and fidelity, and insisted upon our reading them.  Finally, in self-defense, we engaged a stalwart Mohammedan wearing a snow-white robe, a monstrous turban and a big bushy beard.  He is an imposing spectacle; he moves like an emperor; his poses are as dignified as those of the Sheik el Islam when he lifts his hands to bestow a blessing.  And we engaged Ram Zon Abdullet Mutmammet on his shape.

It was a mistake.  Beauty is skin deep.  No one can judge merit by outside appearances, as many persons can ascertain by glancing in a mirror.  Ram Zon, and that was what we called him for short, was a splendid illusion.  It turned out that he could not scrape together enough English to keep an account of his expenditures and had to trust to his memory, which is very defective in money matters.  He cannot read or write, he cannot carry a message or receive one; he is no use as a guide, for, although information and ideas may be bulging from his noble brow, he lacks the power to communicate them, and, worse than all, he is surly, lazy and a constitutional kicker.  He was always hanging around when we didn’t want him, and when we did want him he was never to be found.

Ram had not been engaged two hours before he appeared in our sitting room, enveloped in a dignity that permeated the entire hotel, stood erect like a soldier, brought his hand to his forehead and held it there for a long time—­the salute of great respect—­and gave me a sealed note, which I opened and found to read as follows: 

“Most Honored Sir:—­I most humbly beg to inform you this to your kind consideration and generousitee and trusting which will submit myself to your grant benevolence for avoid the troublesomeness to you and your families, that the servant Ram Zon you have been so honorable and benovelent to engage is a great rogue and conjurer.  He will make your mind buzzling and will steal your properties, and can run away with you midway.  In proof you please touch his right hand shoulder and see what and how big charm he has.  Such a bad temperature man you have in your service.  Besides he only grown up taller and looks like a dandee as it true but he is not fit to act in case not to disappeared.  I beg of you kindly consult about those matters and select and choose much experienced man than him otherwise certainly you could be put in to great danger by his conjuring and into troubles.

“Hoping to excuse me for this troubles I taking, though he is my caste and countryman much like not to do so, but his temperature is not good therefore liable to your honourablesness, etc., etc.”

When I told Ram about this indictment, he stoutly denied the charges, saying that it was customary for envious “bearers” to say bad things of one another when they lost good jobs.  We did not feel of his right arm and he did not try to conjure us, but his temperature is certainly very bad, and he soon became a nuisance, which we abated by paying him a month’s wages and sending him off.  Then, upon the recommendation of the consul we got a treasure, although he does not show it in his looks.