Title:  Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 156., March 5, 1919

Author:  Various

Release Date:  February 21, 2004 [EBook #11201]

Language:  English

Character set encoding:  ASCII

*** Start of this project gutenberg EBOOK Punch ***

Produced by Malcolm Farmer, Sandra Brown and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team.

PUNCH,

Or the London charivari.

Vol. 156.

March 5, 1919.

CHARIVARIA.

“What is whisky?” asks an evening paper headline.  Our memory is not what is was, but we have certainly seen the name somewhere.

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“Bitter,” says the Koelnische Zeitung, “is the taste of defeat.”  A reference, presumably, to the thirty thousand tons of American bacon sold to Germany by the Allies.

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“The Octopus,” said the Lord Mayor of Dublin in his inaugural address, “is showing its fangs.”  Meanwhile Cardinal Gibbons is busy twisting the Lion’s tentacles.

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The owner of a mule found wandering at Walton-on-Thames is being advertised for.  “Trooper,” writing from Mesopotamia, says that if it had a portion of khaki breeching and a stirrup in its mouth it is probably the brute which slipped out of his hands about six months ago.

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With regard to the man who was seen struggling in the river last week, the report that his house was immediately taken by a passer-by is untrue.  The man who pushed him in had got there first.

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So much controversy has been caused by de VALERA’S escape from prison that there is some idea of getting him to go back and do it again.

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It is reported that just before his escape de Valera had been greatly affected by the account of some labour strike.  He is supposed to have come out in sympathy.

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There are now, it is announced, thirty-six prices at which bottled beer may be sold.  It is only fair to our readers to state that the price it used to be is not included in the thirty-six.

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A Servant Girls’ Trade Union has been formed.  So far there is no suggestion of interfering with the mistresses’ evening out.

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Mr. Punch has already called attention to the statement that is costs the nation a guinea every time a question is asked in Parliament.  The only difference between Westminster and the haunts of the General Practitioner is that in the latter case (1) you pay out of your own pocket, and (2) your tongue is protruded instead of being kept in the cheek.

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Burglars are very superstitious, says a press-gossip.  For example the appearance of a policeman while a burglar is drilling a safe is considered distinctly unlucky.