“So Handy Andy is now a lord!” exclaimed the squire, rocking with laughter.

Andy took it like a true son of the wildest and most eccentric of Irish peers.  On getting over the first shock of astonishment, he broke out into short peals of laughter, exclaiming at intervals, that “it was mighty quare.”  When, after much questioning, his wishes in regard to his new life were made clear, it was found that they all centred on one object, which was “to have a goold watch.”

The squire was perplexed what to do with a great nobleman of this sort, and at last he got a kinsman, Dick Dawson, who loved fun, to take Andy under his especial care to London.  When they arrived there it was wonderful how many persons were eager to show civility to his new lordship, and he who as Handy Andy had been cried down all his life as a “stupid rascal,” “a blundering thief,” “a thick-headed brute,” suddenly acquired, under the title of Lord Scatterbrain, a reputation for being “vastly amusing, a little eccentric, perhaps, but so droll.”

All this was very delightful for Andy—­so delightful that he quite forgot Red Bridget.  But Red Bridget did not forget him.

“Lady Scatterbrain!” announced the servant one day; and in came Bridget and Shan More and an attorney.

The attorney brought out a settlement in which an exorbitant sum was to be settled on Bridget, and Shan More, with a threatening air, ordered Andy to sign the deed.

“I can’t,” cried Andy, retreating to the fire-place, “and I won’t!”

“You must sign your name!” roared Shan More.

“I can’t, I tell you!” yelled Andy, seizing the poker.  “I’ve never larned to write.”

“Your lordship can make your mark,” said the attorney.

“I’ll make my mark with this poker,” cried Andy, “if you don’t all clear out!”

The noise of a frightful row brought Dick Dawson into the room, and he managed to get rid of the intruders by inducing the attorney to conduct the negotiations through Lord Scatterbrain’s solicitors.

But while the negotiations were going on, a fact came to light that altered the whole complexion of the matter, and Andy went post-haste over to Ireland to the fine house in which his mother and his cousin were living.

Bursting into the drawing-room, he made a rush upon Oonah, whom he hugged and kissed most outrageously, with exclamations of the wildest affection.

When Oonah freed herself from his embraces, and asked him what he was about, Andy turned over the chairs, threw the mantelpiece ornaments into the fire, and banged the poker and tongs together, shouting!  “Hurroo!  I’m not married at all!”

It had been discovered that Red Bridget had a husband living when she forced Andy to marry her, and as soon as it was legally proved that Lord Scatterbrain was a free man, Father Phil was called in, and Oonah, who had all along loved her wild cousin, was made Lady Scatterbrain.