“And is there not a tribe of infidels called Ingliz?” I asked.

“Yes, truly.  They live in an island, are powerful in ships, and in watches and broad-cloth are unrivalled.  They have a shah, but it is a farce to call him by that title.  The power lies with certain houses full of madmen, who meet half the year round for the purposes of quarrelling.  Nothing can be settled in the state, be it only whether a rebellious aga is to have his head cut off and his property confiscated, or some such trifle, until these people have wrangled.  Let us bless Allah and our Prophet that we are not born to eat the miseries of the poor English infidels, but can smoke our pipes in quiet on the shores of our own peaceful Bosphorus!”

I returned to my ambassador full of the information I had acquired; daily he sent me in search of fresh particulars, and before long I felt able to draw up the history of Europe that the Shah had ordered Mirza Ferouz to provide.  So well pleased was the ambassador with my labours, that he announced his intention of taking me back to Persia and continuing me in Government employ.  To this I readily agreed, knowing that, with the protection of men in office, I might show myself in my own country with perfect safety.

On out return to Tehran we found an English ambassador negotiating a treaty, the French having gone away unsuccessful.  Owing to the knowledge I had acquired of European affairs when at Constantinople, I was much employed in these transactions with the infidels, and when I gained the confidence of the grand vizier himself, destiny almost as much as whispered that the buffetings of the world had taken their departure from me.

The negotiations reached a difficult point, and threatened to break down; neither the Persians nor the infidels would give way.  I was sent by the grand vizier on a delicate mission to the English ambassador.  I prevailed.  I returned to the grand vizier with a sack of gold for him and the promise of a diamond ring, and the treaty was signed.

It was decided to send an ambassador to England.  Mirza Berouz was appointed, and I was chosen as his first mirza, or secretary.  What pleased me most of all was that I was sent to Ispahan to raise part of the money for the presents to be taken to England.  Hajji Baba, the barber’s son, entered his native place as Mirza Hajji Baba, the Shah’s deputy, with all the parade of a man of consequence, and on a mission that gave him unbounded opportunity of enriching himself.  I found myself, after all my misfortunes, at the summit of what, in my Persian eyes, was perfect human bliss.

* * * * *

DAVID CHRISTIE MURRAY

The Way of the World