Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 44 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 44 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870.

Sec. 11.  Every person owning real estate on the Island shall contribute one ninety-ninth part of his income to the said grab-bag.  On the following Christmas, in the presence of the grab income-bents of offices, the Inspectors shall proceed to divide the proceeds of these taxable contributions, and one half of these proceeds shall be equally divided among the grab income-bents of offices.  The other half shall be devoted to paving every conceivable surface of the city with wooden pavement.

Sec. 12.  Owners of real estate in the city of New York are hereby allowed to make their own arrangements with the gas companies for the supply of light; but nothing herein shall be construed to devote any part of the proceeds to light the public streets at night and real estate owners shall be allowed to make their own arrangements for the supply of water with the grab income-bents of the Croton Grab Board.

Sec. 13.  The sewers of the city shall be converted to burial places for persons assassinated at political meetings.

Sec. 14.  Nothing herein contained shall be so construed as to permit any judge to grant an injunction against any grabbers of the offices.

Sec. 15.  The “dead-beats,” heretofore known as policemen and soldiers of the first division, are hereby legislated out of office, and it shall be a felony punishable with assassination for any one to go unarmed with a six-shooter.

Sec. 16.  All provisions of the United States or State constitutions inconsistent with the above provisions are hereby repealed.

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From Gertrude of Wyoming.

Because a jury-mast is a makeshift for a lost spar, it does not follow that a jury-woman is a make-shift for any body.  In fact, the women who sit upon juries are not the sort of women who personally supply the family linen.

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SURE TO BE LOST AT C.—­Signor LEFRANC’s voice, if he continues to recklessly strain it with his chest C.

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HINTS FOR THE FAMILY.

As it is intended that the mission of PUNCHINELLO shall be extended into all circles of society, that of the family shall not be neglected.  Every other weekly journal abounds in wise domestic counsels, apt recipes, cunning plans, and helpful patterns of all sorts; and PUNCHINELLO, intending to offer the most advantages, expects to become so necessary to the economical housewife and the prudent bread-winner that no family will be able to do without him.  So, with no further prologue, we will present our readers with some valuable hints in regard to the use that can be made of things that often lie about the house gathering dust—­idle clutter and of no service to any body.  The first hint, we know, if followed up, will be found of the greatest advantage to all, yielding great measure of convenience at little cost.  Take a wide board—­as wide as you can get it—­and as long as it will cut without cracks or knotholes, and saw the ends off square.  Then bore four large holes in the corners, and insert the ends of four sticks, each about three feet long.  Place it upon the floor, so that the board will be supported by the sticks, thus: 

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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.