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[Illustration:  “NAH, all them as is WILLIN’ to come along O’ me, please signify the same in the usual manner.  Carried unanimously.”]

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Thrills from the termini.

Mr. Punch, following the example of his daily contemporaries, despatched a representative to some of the great London termini to note the August exodus from town.  The following thrilling report is to hand:—­

At Waterton and Paddingloo great crowds continued to board the limited number of West-bound and South-west-bound trains.  On being asked why they were leaving town, those of the travellers who answered at all said it was the regular time for their annual holiday and they wanted a change.  They were mostly a jolly hearty lot, happily confident that at some time in the course of the next forty-eight hours they would be deposited in some part of the West or South-west of England.  Those fortunate persons who had secured seats were sitting down, those who were unable to get seats were standing, and, in spite of the congested state of the carriages and corridors, almost all were smiling, the exceptions being those highly-strung and excitable passengers who had come to blows over corner seats and windows up or down.  Many of the travellers carried baskets of food.  Your representative, anxious to report on the quality and quantity of the provisions carried, ventured to peep into one of the baskets, and was in consequence involved in a rather unpleasant affair, being actually accused of having abstracted a sandwich!

The engine-driver, questioned as to whether he liked having passengers on the engine and whether he considered it safe for them, was understood to say that so long as they didn’t get in his way it didn’t matter to him, and as to its being safe for them, he jolly well didn’t care whether it was safe for them or not.  The guard, detained by the sleeve by your representative, who inquired how he felt about being almost crowded out of his brake by passengers, drew away his sleeve with some violence and his answer was quite unworthy to be reported.  An elderly but strongly-built porter, with the luggage of fourteen families on his truck, and the fourteen families surrounding him and all talking at once, was approached by your representative for a little quiet chat, but he became so threatening that it was thought advisable to leave him alone.