We can well believe it.

* * * * *

From a sale advertisement:—­

    “LACE DEPT.

    Ladies’ Overalls and Breeches for the farm, garden, or home use,
    reduced in Price.”

    Daily Paper.

Cooler and cooler.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Angry Lady (on being told that Fido’s favourite biscuits are now unobtainable).

“NOTHING BUT THESE!  REALLY, THIS WAR IS GETTING BEYOND A JOKE!”]

* * * * *

“SKILLY.”

Prior to “Skilly” being taken on the regimental strength, our canteen was the paradise of a battalion of mice, from whose nightly raids nothing was sacred.  But from the day “Skilly” enlisted the marauders became less and less obtrusive.  And “Skilly” grew sleek.

Then came a time of scarcity.  Mice fought shy of the canteen, and “Skilly” visibly suffered from lack of nourishment.  A sergeant’s wife provided welcome hospitality; but no sooner was “Skilly” billeted outside the canteen than the plague returned, and so she was recalled urgently to active service.  Again was the enemy routed; but again came the wilting-time of dire want.  Virtue, however, did not go unrewarded a second time.  “Skilly” had earned honourable mention, and representations to the proper quarters resulted in an order that she should be rationed so long as she remained on canteen duty.

With times of ease came time for love.  In due course “Skilly” presented an absentee and unidentifiable spouse with five bouncing baby kittens.  Throughout their extreme infancy the family throve; but the time came when the devoted mother was no longer able to supply sufficient nutriment for five lusty youngsters.  Clearly something must be done, and the canteen sergeant was the man to do it.  He sent in a proper formal application to the regimental powers, requesting that increased feline rations be ordered as “subsistence for Canteen Skilly and family of five.”

Time passed, and—­let this be read and remembered by all carping critics who accuse our army of want of method and business sense—­in due course the application was returned, properly entered, checked, signed and counter-signed.  The verdict run thus:  “Application on behalf of Canteen Skilly refused, as apparently she married off the strength of the regiment.”

* * * * *

    “No youth should be regarded educationally as a finished article
    at 1 years of age.” Yorkshire Post.

Mr. Fisher will be pleased.

* * * * *

“A MERRY HEART GOES ALL THE DAY.”

  I jogged along the footpath way
    And leant against the stile;
  “A merry heart goes all the day,”
  Stoutly I sang the old refrain;
  My own heart mocked me back again,
    “Yet tire you in a mile!”