I wonder did the ancients prove
    Responsive to your spell,
  Or, riveted to Reason’s groove,
    Against your charms rebel. 
  And yet some senator obese,
    In Rome long years ago,
  May have misnamed a masterpiece
    De Gallo bellico.

  We know there were heroic men
    Ere AGAMEMNON’S days,
  Who passed forgotten from our ken,
    Lacking a poet’s praise;
  But, though great Metaphasiarchs
    Have doubtless flourished sooner,
  I’m sure their raciest remarks
    Have been eclipsed by S-----r.

* * * * *

THE LIMIT.

    “The daily cost of the war has shown an alarming tendency to
    mount, and has gone beyond the 700 millions which some folk
    thought must be the limit a few months ago.”

    Sussex Daily News.

* * * * *

    “Junior Assistant wanted to Grocery, Spirit and Provision
    business; send copy references and salary expected.”—­Irish
    Paper.

Quite a promising idea for getting more capital into a business.

* * * * *

INVENTIONS.

“Amongst a number of new inventions,” says the Frankfischer Tagwacht, “is an imitation of the smell of Limburger cheese.”  This has caused some alarm and not a little interest in this country, as the following extracts will show:—­

“Berlin Resident” states that he has too long been fed up with imitation meals, and for weeks past has had nothing to eat but holes from Limburger.

“Cynic” remarks that it is impossible for the German scientists to defeat the WOLFF wireless at inventions.

Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL is anxious to know whether they have yet discovered a substitute for The Morning Post.

The Times Greenwich correspondent wires:  “If they have invented a method whereby a news report will make a noise like ‘Passed by Censor’ will they wire terms?”

* * * * *

Inscription on a French picture post-card:—­

    “Une locomotive abandonee devant Thiepval.  One locomotive a
    profligate woman forepart Thiepval.”

Smith minor is avenged.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE REAL VOICE OF LABOUR.

TOMMY.  “SO YOU’RE GOING TO STOCKHOLM TO TALK TO FRITZ, ARE YOU?  WELL,
I’M GOING BACK TO FRANCE TO FIGHT HIM.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.