The C.P. Fritz, you dog, how dare you?  Very well, have it your own way and let it be the Trench uniform.

Fritz. I am only anxious to promote his Royal Highness’s interest in every possible way.

The C.P. I know, I know.  Only we shall have old HINDENBURG growling and grunting and looking as black as a thundercloud.  I cannot imagine what my revered father sees in that old wooden effigy, whose only idea of strategy is to retreat from strong positions.  That, at any rate, is not the fashion in which I have learnt war.  I’m thoroughly tired of hearing of all these HINDENBURG plans, which come to nothing.

Fritz. Your Royal Highness is, of course, right.  But what I say to myself is that the ALL-HIGHEST, your Royal Highness’s most gracious father, has in all this a deep-laid design to show conclusively that all these HINDENBURG plans mean nothing, so that in the end true skill and merit may have a chance, and the chief command may be placed in the only hands that are fit to exercise it.  Oh, yes, I know what I’m talking about, and everyone I meet says the same.

The C.P. I have always felt that that must be so.  No matter, a time will come.  By the way, Fritz, have you packed up the Sevres dinner-service?

Fritz. I have already packed six from as many different French and Belgian houses, and have sent them to Berlin, according to your Royal Highness’s directions.  Which does your Royal Highness refer to?

The C.P. I mean the one with the simple pattern of pink flowers and the coat-of-arms.

Fritz. Yes, that I have packed like the rest and have sent off.

The C.P. And the silver dishes and the lace?

Fritz. Yes, they have all gone.

The C.P. Good.  And the clocks?

Fritz. Yes, I did in every case what your Royal Highness ordered me to do.

The C.P. And you packed them, I hope, with the greatest care?

Fritz. I did; nothing, I am certain, will suffer damage.

The C.P. Excellent.  War is, no doubt, a rough and brutal affair, but at least it cannot be said that we Prussians do not behave like gentlemen.

Fritz. Your Royal Highness speaks, as always, the plain truth.  How different from the degenerate French and the intolerable English.

The C.P. Yes, Fritz; and now you can go.  Stay; there was something I wanted to ask you.  Dear me, I am losing my memory.  Ah!  I have it.  How is my offensive getting on?  Has any news come in from the Chemin des Dames?

Fritz. Your Royal Highness’s offensive has not advanced to any great extent.  The French last night recaptured all their positions and even penetrated into ours.

The C.P. Did they?  How very annoying.  Somebody bungled, of course.  Well, well, I shall have to put it right when I have time.  Have you finished laying out my uniform?  Yes.  Then you can go.