“This gal, Molly Mulligan, used to encourage Tom to come to the house, and was always so mighty kind to him that he used to kiss and shpark her by way of compinsating her for her trouble.  She used to take this all very well, for she was a great admirer of Tom’s, and always spoke his praise.  But Tom didn’t make much headway with Kitty.  It wasn’t often that he could saa her, and when he did; she was mighty offish, and was sure to have the owld woman present, like a dumb-waiter, to be sure.  She come to tell him at length that she didn’t admire his coming, and that he would greatly plaise her if he would make his visits by staying away altogether.  The next time Tom went he found the door locked, and, after hammering a half-hour, and being towld there was no admittance, he belaved it was meant as a kind hint that his company was not agreeable.  Be yees listening, ye riptile?

“Tom might have stood it very well, if another chap hadn’t begun calling on Kitty about this time.  He used to go airly in the evening, and not come out of the house till after midnight, so that one might belave his visits were welcome.  This made Tom feel mighty bad, and so he hid behind the wall and waylaid the chap one night.  He would have killed the chap, his timper was so ruffled, if the man hadn’t nearly killed him afore he had the chance.  He laid all night in the gutter, and was just able to crawl home next day, while the fellow went a-courting the next night, as if nothing had happened.

“Tom begun to git melancholy, and his mouth didn’t appear quite as broad as usual.  Molly Mulligan thought he had taken slow poison and it was gradually working through his system; but he could ate his pick of praties the same as iver.  But Tom felt mighty bad; that fact can’t be denied, and he went frequently to consult with a praist that lived near this ind of Limerick, and who was knowed to cut up a trick or two during his lifetime.  When Tom came out one day looking bright and cheery, iverybody belaved they had been conspiring togither, and had hit on some thavish trick they was to play on little Kitty McGuire.

“When the moon was bright, Kitty used to walk to Limerick and back again of an evening.  Her beau most likely went with her, but sometimes she preferred to go alone, as she knowed no one would hurt a bonny little gal as herself.  Tom knowed of these doings, as in days gone by he had jined her once or twice.  So one night he put a white sheet around him as she was coming back from Limerick, and hid under the little bridge over the brook.  It was gitting quite late, and the moon was just gone down, so, when she stepped on the bridge, and he came out afore her, she gave one shriek, and like to have fainted intirely.

“‘Make no noise, or I’ll ate ye up alive,’ said Tom, trying to talk like a ghost.

“‘What isht yees want?’ she asked, shaking like a leaf, ’and who are yees?’

“‘I’m a shpirit, come to warn ye of your ill-doings.’