Mediation . . . . . .   Admirable, but must not be overworked. 
Oratory . . . . . . .   Fair.  Has tendency to unnecessary candour. 
Does not sufficiently employ periphrasis. 
Fidelity  . . . . . .   Beyond praise.

  MR. WINSTON CHURCHILL.

Oratory . . . . . . .   Effective, if given enough time to prepare. 
Modesty . . . . . . .   Room for improvement. 
Polarity  . . . . . .   Weak. 
Ambition  . . . . . .   An honest worker.

Lastly, let us take the report sheet of one not wholly absent from the public eye, whom I will designate merely by the initials W.W.

Pride . . . . . . . .   Far less than he had two or three years ago. 
Facial beauty . . . .   More than adequate. 
Subrisivity . . . . .   Phenomenal. 
Oratory . . . . . . .   Admirable, but too fond of telling the
same story. 
Popularity  . . . . .   Could not be greater.

* * * * *

HAIR-CUTTING AND DENTISTRY.

I am going to get my hair cut.  But I must first mention the matter to my wife.

Why do I do this?  It is not because I am a coward, for there are few men who are in reality braver than I am.  I carried my firstborn in my arms round the drawing-room when she was a week old, and I have done other things equally brave, the enumeration of which I spare you.  But I could no more think of getting my hair cut without previously informing my wife than I could think of wearing a top hat in the Strand.

I know what will happen when I have told my wife.  She will look up and say, “That’s right; you always do it.”

And I shall say, “What do I always do?”

And she will answer, “You always get yourself cropped like a convict just when your hair was beginning to look nice.”

And I shall say, “I can’t help that; it’s got to be done.”  And then I shall go and get it done.

But I wonder if my wife is right after all.  There used to be a nice wave in my front hair, a wave into which you could lay two fingers.  Is that there still?  No, it’s gone.  In fact there is not sufficient front hair to make a wave with.  It’s odd how gradually these things happen.  I could have sworn that I had that wave, and there is a photograph of me in the drawing-room with a fully-developed tidal bore; and I went on brushing my front hair and combing it and thinking of it all the time as constituting a wave, and lo it had vanished, leaving me under the impression that it was still there and accountable for the pleasing effect I produced in general society.

But if it wasn’t the wave that produced this effect, what could it have been?  My voice?  Perhaps.  My moustache?  I doubt it.  My teeth?  Possibly.  See advertisements of tooth powders passim.  You know how it’s done, in the before and after style.  Before you use Dentoline you apparently do not possess so much as a front tooth.  After you have used it once you are in possession of thirty-two regular and brilliant