V. Moreover, he passed a law to regulate judicial proceedings, this chaste and upright man, this upholder of the tribunals and the law.  And in this he deceived us.  He used to say that he appointed men from the front ranks of the army, common soldiers, men of the Alauda,[33] as judges.  But he has in reality selected gamesters; he has selected exiles; he has selected Greeks.  Oh the fine bench of judges!  Oh the admirable dignity of that council!  I do long to plead in behalf of some defendant before that tribunal—­Cyda of Crete; a prodigy even in that island; the most audacious and abandoned of men.  But even suppose he were not so.  Does he understand Latin?  Is he qualified by birth and station to be a judge?  Does he—­which is most important—­does he know anything about our laws and manners?  Is he even acquainted with any of the citizens?  Why, Crete is better known to you than Rome is to Cyda.  In fact, the selection and appointment of the judges has usually been confined to our own citizens.  But who ever knew, or could possibly have known this Gortynian judge?  For Lysiades, the Athenian, we most of us do know.  For he is the son of Phaedrus, an eminent philosopher.  And, besides, he is a witty man, so that he will be able to get on very well with Marcus Curius, who will be one of his colleagues, and with whom he is in the habit of playing.  I ask if Lysiades, when summoned as a judge, should not answer to his name, and should have an excuse alleged for him that he is an Areopagite, and that he is not bound to act as a judge at both Rome and Athens at the same time, will the man who presides over the investigation admit the excuse of this Greekling judge, at one time a Greek, and at another a Roman?  Or will he disregard the most ancient laws of the Athenians?

And what a bench will it be, O ye good gods!  A Cretan judge, and he the most worthless of men.  Whom can a defendant employ to propitiate him?  How is he to get at him?  He comes of a hard nation.  But the Athenians are merciful.  I dare say that Curius, too, is not cruel, inasmuch as he is a man who is himself at the mercy of fortune every day.  There are besides other chosen judges who will perhaps be excused.  For they have a legitimate excuse, that they have left their country in banishment, and that they have not been restored since.  And would that madman have chosen these men as judges, would he have entered their names as such in the treasury, would he have trusted a great portion of the republic to them, if he had intended to leave the least semblance of a republic?

Vi.  And I have been speaking of those judges who are known.  Those whom you are less acquainted with I have been unwilling to name.  Know then that dancers, harp-players, the whole troop, in fact, of Antonius’s revellers, have all been pitchforked into the third decury of judges.  Now you see the object of passing so splendid and admirable a law, amid excessive rain, storm, wind, tempest, and whirlwind,