* * * * *

VISITORS.

  When I was very ill in bed
    The fairies came to visit me;
  They danced and played around my head,
    Though other people couldn’t see.

  Across the end a railing goes
    With bars and balls and twisted rings,
  And there they jiggled on their toes
    And did the wonderfullest things.

  They balanced on the golden balls,
    They jumped about from bar to bar,
  And then they fluttered to the walls
    Where coloured birds and roses are.

  I watched them darting in and out,
    I watched them gaily climb and cling,
  While all the roses moved about
    And all the birds began to sing.

  And when it was no longer light
    I felt them up my pillows creep,
  And there they sat and sang all night—­
    I heard them singing in my sleep.

  R.F.

* * * * *

ANOTHER SEX PROBLEM.

    “From Lord Rosebery’s herd at Mentmore, Mr. Ross got a show cow
    of the Lady Dorothy family, giving every appearance of being a
    great milker and a tip-top bull calf.”—­Aberdeen Free Press.

* * * * *

From a German communique:—­

    “Our naval forces had encounters with Russian destroyers and
    gungoats north of Oesel.”—­Westminster Gazette.

The Russian reply to the ewe-boats, we suppose.

* * * * *

    “Kugelmann, Ludwig, of Canterbury Road, Canterbury, grocer, has
    adopted the name of Love Wisdom Power.”—­Australian Paper.

Who said the Germans had no sense of humour?

* * * * *

[Illustration:  BURGLAR BILL.

THE POTSDAM PINCHER.  “SURELY YOU AIN’T ASKIN’ ME TO GIVE UP MY SWAG ARTER ALL THE TROUBLE I’VE HAD GETTIN’ IT, AN’ ALL THE VALIBLE BLOOD I’VE SPILT.”]

* * * * *

THE MUD LARKS.

The Babe went to England on leave.  Not that this was any new experience for him; he usually pulled it off about once a quarter—­influence, and that sort of thing, you know.  He went down to the coast in a carriage containing seventeen other men, but he got a fat sleepy youth to sit on, and was passably comfortable.  He crossed over in a wobbly boat packed from cellar to attic with Red Tabs invalided with shell shock, Blue Tabs with trench fever, and Green Tabs with brain-fag; Mechanical Transporters in spurs and stocks, jam merchants in revolvers and bowie-knives, Military Police festooned with pickelhaubes, and here and there a furtive fighting man who had got away by mistake, and would be recalled as soon as he landed.