(But Mrs. James is not to be turned off by compliments.)

LAURA.  William, who are you living with?

WILLIAM.  With myself, my dear.

LAURA.  Anyone else?

WILLIAM.  Off and on I have friends staying.

LAURA.  Are you living with Isabel?

WILLIAM.  She comes in occasionally to see how I’m getting on.

LAURA.  And how are you ’getting on’—­without me?

WILLIAM.  Oh, I manage—­somehow.

LAURA.  Are you living a proper life, William?

WILLIAM.  Well, I’m here, my dear; what more do you want to know?

LAURA.  There’s a great deal I want to know.  But I wish you’d come in and shut the door, instead of standing out there in the passage.

JULIA.  The door is shut, Laura.

LAURA.  Then I don’t call it a door.

WILLIAM (trying to make things pleasant).  When is a door not a door?  When it’s a parent.

LAURA.  William, I want to talk seriously.  Do you know that when you died you left a lot of debts I didn’t know about?

WILLIAM.  I didn’t know about them either, my dear.  But if you had, it wouldn’t have made any difference.

LAURA.  Yes, it would!  I gave you a very expensive funeral.

WILLIAM.  That was to please yourself, my dear; it didn’t concern me.

LAURA.  Have you no self-respect?  I’ve been at my own funeral to-day, let me tell you!

WILLIAM.  Have you, my dear?  Rather trying, wasn’t that?

LAURA.  Yes, it was.  They’ve gone and put me beside you; and now I begin to wish they hadn’t!

WILLIAM.  Go and haunt them for it!

(At this Julia deigns a slight chuckle.)

LAURA (abruptly getting back to her own).  I had to go into a smaller house, William.  And people knew it was because you’d left me badly off.

WILLIAM.  That reflected on me, my dear, not on you.

LAURA.  It reflected on me for ever having married you.

WILLIAM.  I’ve often heard you blame yourself.  Well, now you’re free.

LAURA.  I’m not free.

WILLIAM.  You can be if you like.  Hadn’t you better?

LAURA (sentimentally).  Don’t you see I’m still in mourning for you,
William?

WILLIAM.  I appreciate the compliment, my dear.  Don’t spoil it,

LAURA.  Don’t be heartless!

WILLIAM.  I’m not:  far from it. (He looks at his watch) I’m afraid I must go now.

LAURA.  Why must you go?

WILLIAM.  They are expecting me—­to dinner.

LAURA.  Who’s ‘they’?

WILLIAM.  The children and their mother.  They’ve invited me to stay the night.

(Mrs. James does her best to conceal the shock this gives her.  She delivers her ultimatum with judicial firmness!)

LAURA.  William, I wish you to come and live here with me.