“Thus after several years’ expenditure of time and money in the expectation (of my friends, never of my own except as I yielded my own judgment to theirs) of so much at least as to leave me free to pursue my art again, I am left, humanly speaking, farther from my object than ever. I am reminded, too, that my prime is past; the snows are on my temples, the half-century of years will this year be marked against me; my eyes begin to fail, and what can I now expect to do with declining powers and habits in my art broken up by repeated disappointments?
“That prize which, through the best part of my life, animated me to sacrifice all that most men consider precious—prospects of wealth, domestic enjoyments, and, not least, the enjoyment of country—was snatched from me at the moment when it appeared to be mine beyond a doubt.
“I do not state these things to you, my dear cousin, in the spirit of complaint of the dealings of God’s Providence, for I am perfectly satisfied that, mysterious as it may seem to me, it has all been ordered in its minutest particulars in infinite wisdom, so satisfied that I can truly say I rejoice in the midst of all these trials, and in view of my Heavenly Father’s hand guiding all, I have a joy of spirit which I can only express by the word ‘singing.’ It is not in man to direct his steps. I know I am so short-sighted that I dare not trust myself in the very next step; how then could I presume to plan for my whole life, and expect that my own wisdom had guided me into that way best for me and the universe of God’s creatures?
“I have not painted a picture since that decision in Congress, and I presume that the mechanical skill I once possessed in the art has suffered by the unavoidable neglect. I may possibly recover this skill, and if anything will tend to this end, if anything can tune again an instrument so long unstrung, it is the kindness and liberality of my Cousin Edward. I would wish, therefore, the matter put on this ground that my mind may be at ease. I am at present engaged in taking portraits by the Daguerreotype. I have been at considerable expense in perfecting apparatus and the necessary fixtures, and am just reaping a little profit from it. My ultimate aim is the application of the Daguerreotype to accumulate for my studio models for my canvas. Its first application will be to the study of your picture. Yet if any accident, any unforeseen circumstances should prevent, I have made arrangements with my brother Sidney to hold the sum you have advanced subject to your order. On these conditions I accept it, and will yet indulge the hope of giving you a picture acceptable to you.”