A great party to Church.  Many eyes turned on Lord John as we walked from it.  He was much amused by the remark of one man:  “Lord John’s a silly [17] looking man, but he’s smart, too!”—­which he, of course, would have understood as an Englishman.  In the evening he gave me a poem he had composed on the subject of my letter from Lancaster to Mrs. Law [18] announcing ourselves for the next day....  In the morning [September 1] Lord John begged to sit in our sitting-room with us....  I told him the library would be more comfortable, and we were established there (he very kindly reading the “Lay” aloud), when two Hawick Bailiffs arrived to present him with the freedom of the town....  After dinner, Miss Lister asked me so many questions chiefly relating to marrying, that I began to believe that Lord John’s great kindness to us all, but especially to me, meant something more than I wished.  I lay awake, wondering, feeling sure, and doubting again.

[17] Delicate.

[18] Housekeeper.

    MINTO, September 2, 1840

Lord John, Miss Lister, Addy and I went to Melrose Abbey and Abbotsford....  It was his last evening, and in wishing me good-bye he said quite enough to make me tell Mama all I thought....  I could see that she was very glad I did not like him in that way.  I am sure I do in every other.

    MINTO, September 3, 1840

Lord John set off before seven this morning.  I dreamed about him and waked about him all night....  Mama gave me a note from Lord John to me which he had left....  I wrote my answer immediately, begging him not to come back; but also telling him how grateful I feel.  Had a long talk and walk with Miss Lister, whose great kindness makes it all more painful to me.

Lady Fanny wrote to her sister, Lady Mary Abercromby: 

A proposal from Lord John Russell is at this moment lying before me.  I see it lying, and I write to you that it is there, but yet I do not believe it, nor shall I ever....  Good, kind Miss Lister positively worships him.

    MINTO, September 4, 1840

    Went to the village with Mama and my darling Addy [Lord John’s
    stepdaughter], to whom I may show how I love her now that he is
    away.

    MINTO, September 7, 1840

    Received a very, very sad note from Lord John in answer to mine—­so
    kind, but oh! so sad.

The note ran as follows: 

    September 5, 1840

DEAR LADY FANNY,—­You are quite right.  I deceived myself, not from any fault of yours, but from a deep sense of unhappiness, and a foolish notion that you might throw yourself away on a person of broken spirits, and worn out by time and trouble.  There is nothing left to me but constant and laborious attention to public business, and a wretched sense of misery, which even the children can never long drive away.  However, that is my duty, and my portion, and I have no right to murmur at what no doubt is ordained for some good end.  So do not blame yourself, and leave me to hope that my life may not be long.

    Yours truly, J. RUSSELL