Still, even within the limits imposed by immemorial tradition there surely must be somebody in the United Kingdom who could make a better book.  It was pathetic that so capable a cast—­Miss LILY LONG in particular—­should have such second-rate stuff to say and sing.  Seldom could one detect any attempt to evade the obvious.  Of topical allusions, apart from timeworn themes of coupons and profiteers, there was scarce a sign, and such burlesque as there was had no sort of subtlety in it.  Take, for example, the opportunity lost in the imitation of a bedroom scene from modern drama.  It announced itself as something “West-Endy,” yet it was like nothing (I imagine) even in the remote Orient.  And constantly the poor play of esprit had to be carried off by the distracting thud of some falling body or covered by the deadening clash of the eternal cymbals.

It is significant, in this connection, that there never seems to be any male character in these pantomimes that is not committed to buffoonery.  Apparently no reliance is placed on the unassisted humour of the dialogue.  A funny remark must be clinched with a somersault, a repartee be driven home by a resounding smack on the face.  You might have thought that on such an occasion there would be room for the figure of some gallant soldier of the masculine sex.  Yet there wasn’t a vestige of khaki in the whole show, and the only patriotic song assigned to a man’s voice had to be delivered by the comic villain.

However, the actors were too good to be defeated by the authors; and the two couples—­the Babes (Mr. STANLEY LUPINO as Horace and Mr. WILL EVANS as Flossie) and the Robbers (Messrs. EGBERT)—­went far by their personal drollery and unflagging spirits to make up for any defect in the words.  Each member of the two pairs played very loyally into the other’s hands.  Mr. ALBERT EGBERT indeed played into his brother’s feet with equal devotion; and the good humour with which he accepted the fiercest blows on face and person seemed to indicate an exceptionally close fraternal understanding.

[Illustration:  THE AGE OF INNOCENCE Horace ...  Mr. STANLEY LUPINO. Flossie ...  Mr. WILL EVANS.]

Mr. HARRY CLAFF as the Wicked Uncle (with a note or two in the operatic manner) belied his villainous nature by an unusually amiable temperament; and Miss FLORENCE SMITHSON, with her dainty air, furnished interludes of conventional song, during which we gave our ribs a rest.

The dancing, as usual, was rather perfunctory, if one excepts a pas de deux which gave promise of a parody of the Russians and turned out to be just a series of contortionist feats, brilliant but unlovely.